Life Under the Big Top

2011: New Year, New Blog

2011-01-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

Visit me at my new home: Life Under the Big Top Too!

So I've been a little MIA what with the family and the holidays and all. Finally having said goodbye to all our guests, cleaned up the Christmas decorations and finished the mountain of laundry that accumulated over the last week and a half, I sat down today to blog. And you know I have all kinds of pictures to post along with the tales of the holidays. As I upload the pictures, I get a message from Google. "You've exceeded your storage limit. Click here to upgrade!"

I was unaware I had a limit.

But I click anyway and find that over the last five years my photos have been slowly climbing to the 1GB ceiling - free ceiling anyway. Without ponying up for a paid account, I am henceforth pictureless.

Well that's just not going to do. I can't live without pictures, not that my Mom or MIL would let me blog without, and I am WAY too cheap to pay for hosting. Being the innovative (read: miser) blogger I am, I came up with an alternate solution: a new google account with a new blog.

Pros: Cheap.

Cons: I had to set up a whole new blog and you all would have to follow me there. I'm going to trust that anyone who has cared enough to read (or laughed at my expense the past 5 years) will come along to the next phase of my blogging.

All posts going forward will be at Life Under the Big Top Too. Apologies for any inconvenience and look forward to seeing you soon!

Merry Christmas, Eion Style

2010-12-23T20:58:00.000-05:00

Eion arrived home from school with two wrapped Christmas gifts he made with his class. As he handed me the first one...

E: It's a pinch pot!
Me: We'll give it to Daddy. He'll be so surprised.
E: No, it's for Maggie. I also made a green handprint.
Me: I love handprints.
E: It's for Morrigan.
Me: Do I get anything for Christmas?
E: Yes, you get hugs.

While I really do love handprint tiles, I think he's such a sweetie to want to give something to his sisters. And I get hugs after all.

It's Beginning to Look Allot Like Christmas

2010-12-23T20:36:00.000-05:00

The Grandparents have landed! And with them came enough gifts to cover Grandparents, parents and Santa too. The kids were very excited to place them all under the tree and in the case of Eion, so excited that the wrapping paper "fell off" one gift. The temptation being so very large and the volume of gifts so very high (especially when you add parents, Santa and Uncles), we decided to let them open a gift each day leading up to Saturday.

The girls received several games which were immediately put into action. Eion assembled his legos directly and started telling us about how these figures fit into a larger collection and he would need to get all of those too. The child has a future as a lobbyist.

Morrigan really wanted me to go to her Christmas party since I always went to the Crystal Spring parties. Luckily, Mom and Dad arrived in time for the last day of school before break so they covered Maggie and E while I went to Morrigan's school.

Oma and Opa will have to take a brief break from spoiling the kids to go with me tonight to pick up Uncle Dominick and Uncle Chris. They are arriving way past my bedtime (11:30 - PM!!!) but seeing as this is the first Christmas we've managed to get everyone together since 2005, I will forgive them. :)

The Big Top tent is going to be crowded for the next few days so I don't know if I will be online. In case I don't make it back in, have a safe, happy and relaxing Christmas.

Cocktail Club

2010-12-18T09:47:00.000-05:00

While I am fine with your everyday, ok to wear jeans kind of parties (I do throw them myself), I love a good "dress up" cocktail party. Enter our Cocktail Club Christmas party. It was hosted by Sarah & Brad and Andrea & Lynn who had the foresight to host it at Blue 5. Smart idea - no set up, no clean up!

Tim, in the festive attire mood, wore my favorite seasonal pants:

And while it is normally a problem reserved for women, found he was not the only one!

You know people are bringing it when more than one pair such pants makes an appearance.

But anyway, it was a great party - though I was a little alarmed at the number of conversations that involved Justin Beiber. He is, it appears, everywhere. We had a great time, stayed out too late and I was certainly cursing my festive shoes by the night's end.

I didn't think about it until today but this month is the 10th anniversary of the Cocktail Club. I went back in my archives to find a picture of the original group but back in the day didn't even have a digital camera yet! Anyhoo, this was a perfect party to toast to 10 years of friendship and many more to come!

Snow Days

2010-12-17T15:22:00.000-05:00

Well we are on day two out of school due to snow. And while the snow did derail many plans yesterday, new ones took their place.

After some sledding at our house and some driveway clearing, we packed up and headed to Ann and Hans'. We generally over-ran the place for more sledding,

game playing, pretzel making and overall snow day relaxing. It was no swim meet but then again, it was no swim meet!

The sleet made us loath to stand out in the cold on Stanley but it was such a great afternoon that it's hard to argue with our largely indoor plan.

By evening the roads were clear enough that we could make it to our dinner reservations so Ann & my joint birthday dinner, oft plagued by illness and weather, came off without a hitch!

Naturally, school was cancelled today but seeing as the roads were quite passable in the Jeep, we were compelled to head to the gym. But as we were gearing up, Amy called with an infinitely better offer of sledding on Richelieu. Morrigan and Eion found friends there too and we had a fun morning of sledding and, in the case of my crew, snow eating. Blech.

And on the continued good news front, the girls' Christmas piano party as well as our Cocktail Club seem to be a go! While I may still object to Mother Nature's timing, that past few days have turned out pretty well.

Dear Mother Nature,

2010-12-16T08:41:00.000-05:00

With all due respect, (and you know that means someone is about to be disrespected), you have some really crappy timing. Our schedule for the weekend:

Thursday: PTA Meeting [While I am generally anti-meeting, this one was covering some important issues that really need to be discussed.]
2nd Grade Polar Express Day
Swim Meet
Joint birthday dinner with Ann at new favorite restaurant Lucky

Friday: Maggie's friend is having a birthday party
Piano Christmas Party (Cancelled last year due to snow.)
Cocktail Club

Saturday: Christmas party (that we missed last year due to weather)

Thursday's events: cancelled (dinner might make it but it's looking bad.) Friday and Saturday in jeopardy. And might I add that for the billionth time in a row, this snow comes on a day where Tim has returned from a night shift, leaving me stranded on this mountain.

Well screw you weather. We're not missing the Stanley Ave. snow party this year. I am going to conquer my fear driving in the snow (stop laughing Northerners - these hills totally change the game) and take the whole crew out. Hey, our original plans are dashed but we might as well make the most of it!

Ice Castles

2010-12-12T17:47:00.000-05:00

With not a whole heck of allot going on this Sunday afternoon, Tim said we should take the kids ice skating at the Roanoke Civic Center. I was feeling pessimistic about the entire adventure. For a multitude of reasons:

1) We had never even gotten the girls to roller skate, let alone ice skate.
2) It was "Blessed Blades" day which meant Christian rock. No offense to the big man, but rock and roll (and rap and pop) are really the Devil's territory.
3) Tim played ice hockey as a kid so he would be fully capable to assist. I, on the other hand, had not been on skates in 17ish years and wasn't that good then. Not only was I not sure I could assist, I wasn't sure I wouldn't spend the afternoon on my arse.

I was sure that it would be a disaster, full of complaining, but trying to be supportive, said if the kids were on board, I would go too. With a smile on my face.

The girls were all about it. E said he wanted to watch which was fine by me because that meant I got to watch!

Though the start was slow, the girls were soon skating tentatively around the rink.

To my complete shock, Eion decided he wanted to get out there. So he and I got some skates and got on the rink. Luckily, the girls were stable enough to be on their own so Tim could get E started while I found my "ice legs."

So OK, I was totally wrong. Everyone had fun. Everyone got out there. I was, while not spectacular, completely competent. I even learned to skate backwards, a first. I did fall once and I think I am going to have a doozy of a bruise on my behind, but it was great. When we left, 2 1/2 hours later, Eion was so bummed. Promises we would return soon had no effect. He said he wants to play hockey so he can skate all the time. Words to his Daddy's ears.

A Birthday of Field Trips, Gingerbread and Love

2010-12-11T16:23:00.001-05:00

As you may well have noticed from the profile update to the right, yesterday I turned 39. My near day long absence from the computer meant I didn't update it till the end of the day, leading one friend to question if I was no longer willing to broadcast my age. Maybe it's that things just seem to get better each year, but I really don't care that I am getting older. So the proud age announcement will stay!

I spent the morning with Eion on a field trip to the Science Museum and History Museum. He was a bit under the weather but having missed the last field trip, was not going to miss this one. The kids were great and I (really) had a good time.

After lunch, I was about to scoot out and E's teacher told me to have a great birthday. One of the other teachers then hauled me back in and had all 60ish Kindergarteners sing me Happy Birthday. When they were done, he said, "Now who wants to give Mrs. McK a birthday hug?" I think half the hands went up and I spent the next five minutes hugging the sweet things. One kid even put his hand back up for a second hug. I really, truly think there is no sweeter age than Kindergarten.

Later we had Christy, Andrew, and minions over for dinner and gingerbread house decorating. The kids had cooked up this idea the last time we were together and had been looking forward to it for weeks.

They had fun decorating (and eating) their houses. Maggie's was particularly stark. I think she ate almost all her toppings! I bought the pre-assembled variety, a decision about which I was very happy as the houses needing assembly had ongoing roof issues. But nothing we couldn't handle.

As they were sitting at the table, Eion told them, "I'm so glad you're here. You're my favorite friends."

Isn't it funny how what you want in a birthday changes? I can't say that 10 or 20 years ago this would have been my birthday plan but yesterday, Kindergarten hugs, a huge candy/frosting mess, and a quiet night at home with friends was just about perfect.

The Next Phase

2010-12-09T14:08:00.000-05:00

Here at Team McK, we are not the fastest renovators. Case in point, our basement. While we knew this large, bright area would be a great space, it took us about six years of living here before we made the move away from its original state:

It had it all: nasty forest green berber carpet - complete with stains, drafty windows, and institutional lighting.

Finally, last year we bit the bullet and installed new floors. It made a dramatic difference and I think we enjoyed it so much that we weren't in a great hurry to take the next step.

While we got rid of the nasty carpet, we retained the drafty windows and sweet industrial lighting.

Just under a year later, spurred on by a $1,500 tax credit, we had new (energy efficient) doors and windows installed. We chose to get casement windows which, while the exact same size, look sooooo much bigger.

And then, in a wholly unexpected flurry of activity, we decided to leave our one-step-a-year remodeling style behind and had crown moulding and new lights installed (thank you Jerry!) and painted. Today the last of the painting is complete and here is the result:

The crown moulding did a great job of making the walls look more proportional and the softer light from the chandeliers made the whole room look warmer. The walls were so large that I was afraid one solid color would be overwhelming and lord knows when we will get around to art that would break it up. So my friend Leigh Anne came to our rescue did some decorative painting above the chair rail that is perfect. The walls have a bit of depth but it is also very muted and subtle. I am generally style challenged and couldn't have been happier to have someone help me come up with a color scheme. [She's the best - email me if you are looking for a (fancy) painter.]

I guess we're still not done since we need rugs, window treatments and possibly some baseboard heat (gets a wee bit chilly in the coldest winter months) but at our regular pace, that should only be 3-4 more years!

The Man

2010-12-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

Me: Girls, are you watching commercials?

Maggie: It's not my fault. Morrigan has the controller. I told her to change the channel because we don't want The Man telling us what to buy. Or what to watch because sometimes he'll tell you to watch a show and it is a terrible show.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

2010-12-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

Oh every time the Santa Brunch rolls around I think it may be our last one. This one may well have been. We are getting to be on the upper end of the age bracket and one of these days someone is going to figure out the truth about the Jolly One.

But for now, they all were psyched to go, still believe (or pretend to) and were so well behaved that someone passed our table and remarked, "Y'all are living the dream." Indeed we are.

Starting the Season Off Right

2010-12-04T15:55:00.001-05:00

Which means the tacky sweater Christmas party! It was fun and festive as always with the highlight of the evening (at least for me) was hearing the comments everyone received before leaving the house.

From my neighbor to his wife: "Are you sure that is tacky enough? I mean, just having bells doesn't seem like enough."

From a friend's Mom: "It is so nice you're wearing the sweater I gave you!"

From various sons and daughters:

"Really Mom?"

"Nice Mom."

"You're not really going out of the house like that are you?"

[Moving from a look of horror and confusion to understanding to approval] "Oh! It's a BAD sweater party!"

"I can't believe you used to wear that in public."

And from my own sweet girls: "I don't know why you call it a bad sweater party Mama. Yours get more beautiful every year." [Which, according to Ann, makes them "part of the problem."]

Oh the Humanity!

2010-11-29T20:00:00.000-05:00

From the Morrigan files....

"I can't wait until Christmas comes and I get some new books. I have been reduced to reading things from my brother's bookcase."

Deepest sympathies my dear. Guess it's a good thing Santa went heavy on the literature this year.

Classic Moments From the Weekend

2010-11-28T16:36:00.000-05:00

As her cousins walked in the door, Maggie asked Kelsey, "Now which one are you?"

Tim asked our nieces why they didn't use the wheel controller for Mario Kart and he was told, "The wheel is for suckers."

Followed closely by Darby's Mario Kart advice for Tim, "Jump on the boat!" which was the exact wrong plan. "Yeah, I know," she said. "I just wanted to sabotage you."

Darby asking, "Is Eion's hair ever normal?"

Kelsey & Darby's evaluation of the other racers at the Drumstick Dash having chosen to start with the 8 minute milers: "There's allot of people who really overestimated themselves."

Eion: "I want to play Plants vs. Zombies and I need Kelsey or a Darby."

Eion to Darby: I've been waiting all morning for you. I love you."

And last but not least, Eion's entire Thanksgiving dinner consisted of cinnamon toast bread and gogurt!

Thanksgiving Worth Giving Thanks

2010-11-28T16:24:00.000-05:00

We had a fantastic, relaxing and fun-filled Thanksgiving weekend with Tim's parents, brother and his family coming from Florida and Detroit, respectively, to visit.

Tim's parents arrived Monday giving Nancy and I the chance to wrap our holiday shopping. That's right - all done! [And I ordered my Christmas cards today to boot.] We even got some of the wrapping done taking care to correct past years' errors like using different wrapping paper for Santa gifts and computerized tags. Last year it was pointed out to me that Santa and I had the same paper and identical handwriting.

Wednesday, Tim's brother and his crew arrived. Let the festivities begin....

Tim, Morrigan, his brother Pat and our nieces Kelsey and Darby and I all ran the Thanksgiving morning 5K, the Drumstick Dash. The girls smoked us all finishing first. Tim and Pat were next with Tim just besting his older brother. Morrigan was doing well, for the first 1/2 mile. Then it was largely walking and complaining. Our time was s-l-o-o-o-o-w and I really wished I had registered under a pseudonym but I spent time with my little girl, no matter how complainy that time was.

Then we were home to cook up a fantastic feast! It was also Pat's birthday so our pumpkin pie was supplemented with cake.

Doug and Nancy flew home Friday. The rest of us enjoyed the sunny, crisp weather and went on a hike before coming home and making home made pizzas.

Eion bonded with his cousin Darby, with whom he played Plants vs. Zombies almost non-stop. They are six years apart so it was cute to see the common ground. All the kids (and adults) got along great which makes us all the more excited for our family trip to the beach in July.

Saturday, all our guests had gone, leaving us a few days before school to clean and decorate for Christmas.

It was a wonderful holiday and we are truly blessed!

How to Cook a Turkey

2010-11-24T13:47:00.000-05:00

By Eion:

"First, get a turkey from Wal-Mart. Then bake it in the oven for 20 minutes on 100 degrees. After it is finished, put it on the table and everyone pulls off pieces to eat except me, because I don't like turkey."

Safe travels to your holiday destinations and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Cough, Cough

2010-11-21T22:32:00.000-05:00

So I totally suck as a blogger these days. I might as well just make this the once a week update on the Team. In my defense, the lingering cough that I have been enjoying for three weeks turned especially ugly leading me to abandon all manner of activities (gym, tennis, even cocktail hour - the horror!) And you just know you are leading a charmed/sheltered existence when Morrigan said to me the other day, "Oh Mommy - I hate that you are still sick. It is really hard to play tennis when you are sick!"

After trying to battle through illness, I did finally just take to the sofa this week and did a whole lot o' nothing. Sadly for my under the weather self, the Schedule of Events caught up with me and I had to abandon my reclined post for the weekend.

Friday night we had Supper Club conveniently located across the street. We were a twee bit late as I had to pick Morrigan up from an overnight field trip and the bus was naturally late giving them a 0% on time rating over the last 2 years. It was classic when I dropped her off for said trip. Another Mom said she had been instructed to stay until the bus had left. I looked around for Morrigan and saw she had boarded the bus without saying goodbye and was motioning for me to leave. Good thing we value Independence around here. But back on point, Supper Club was fun, maybe a bit too much fun (surprise) as I was feeling those pomegranate martinis the next morning as we....

drove 2 hours to Waynesboro for a swim meet! We were only doing one day as Tim had to work on Sunday and that suited the whole family just fine. Eion arrived and immediately set up camp with the other ds players. To his credit, we barely saw him all day. He entertained himself and only hit us up a few times for concession money.

Morrigan posted some improved times and some the same. But she had a fantastic attitude and seemed not at all worried with placement.

Maggie had the meet of her life. She dropped time in everything including 14.5 seconds off her 50 back. In terms of Summer swimming, she is already making silver times for everything in the 7-8 age group. The downside is there were a bunch of really fast girls there and those greatly improved times translated into 25th place finishes. We're not expecting many ribbons here.

But what they really considered important was the after meet trip to Cracker Barrel. I can't be entirely sure but I think that is the whole reason they wanted to attend this meet.

After a much needed afternoon nap, we were off to poker. I was a disappointing 4th place but Tim tied for 1st.

Tim had to work today so I was left with the task of getting the house ready for our Thanksgiving guests. We have Tim's parents and his brother and family coming in this week so there was plenty to do. But not so much to do that we couldn't take a few hours out to see the new Harry Potter flick. While I think E had some trouble following it, the girls loved it. And they made a point of letting me know they were most definitely not afraid.

I broke down and started antibiotics hoping that might finally break this illness so say a little prayer for me as I hope to rally for Thanksgiving.

No Eion, There is not a Santa Claus

2010-11-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

So the other day, Eion, who incidentally went to school dressed like this today:

had a friend over and they were playing all over the house and outside. Later, we had this exchange:

Eion: I am getting legos for Christmas.
Me: What kind of legos do you want to get?
Eion: No, I am getting them. Hagrids hut with the big spider. I saw it in the Target bag with the nerf guns and swords.

So basically, you found where I hid all the Christmas gifts. And I was pretty much done shopping for E. So what the hell am I supposed to do? I bought what he wanted so I don't want to get different things but if I give him these, Santa is fini. And both his sisters still believe. Excellent work Eion.

Perhaps a lump of coal is in order.

I'll Go With All At Once

2010-11-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

I briefly entertained the idea of splitting this post into several posts but a wave of complete and utter laziness has overtaken me and I'm just going to jam it all together!

On Veterans' Day, Morrigan's school had a musical presentation of patriotic songs.

She was bitterly disappointed in her placement in the chorus. Seems the costumed parts were assigned while we were in Florida. So logically, I asked her, "Wasn't it better to go to Universal Studios and see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter than have a bigger part in this 20 minute play?" My logic was rebuffed when she replied, "It was fun but now I see it wasn't worth it since I am in the dumb chorus!" Ah money and time well spent on that vacation.

Maggie had a homework sheet come home entitled "What is a good friend?" She chose to write about her friend Megan. She said she "Is very funny. She can do cartwheels, forward rolls, backwards rolls, and dance." I had clearly underestimated the importance of gymnastics in 2nd grade friendship. Perhaps I can enhance my status if I teach her some cheerleading moves from high school.

Last but not least in the goings on of Team McK, Tim and I have been trying forever, were talking months and months, to arrange to go to the firing range with our friends JT and Ilona.

Finally, we had a date on the calendar. We met them Friday at a local indoor range where we were able to rent a Glock 17 9mm and purchase ammo. Now they have both been shooting for a couple of years and Tim has been through a firearms training class but I had never even touched a gun. Truth be known, the whole scene was a bit intimidating. For while there were safety protocols in place, you are picking up an instrument that can kill people - even if you don't plan to do so.

As the only newbie, everyone else walked me through basic gun safety - always lay the gun down pointing at the target, always check for a bullet left in the chamber, don't transfer a loaded gun from station to station etc. Ilona taught me the gun grip and walked me through how to fire, warning about the kick of the gun. She told me that her first time out, it took what felt like forever to fire her first shot because she was so nervous so I shouldn't worry if I felt apprehensive.

So I pick up the gun, decide to aim at the target's head, and fire. And damned if I didn't hit the target right in the face. That was FUN.

Then we tried some targets from a greater distance, about 15 yards. I went first and hit dead in the chest. (The middle hole is mine.)

You know, I was never anti-gun but I was wholly unprepared for just how much fun it was. I mean, I have zero desire to fire at any living thing, but shooting at paper target, yeah, I can totally see me doing that again.

As we left, Tim was telling a regular there how he thought I was a better shot than he [Tim] was and we added that it might just be some beginner's luck. He told us, "With guns, there is no beginner's luck. You're just a shooter." Seriously, who knew?!

The one family member overwhelmed with excitement, other than Tim - envisioning romantic mornings at the range, was Eion. He was beyond impressed that we had fired a real live gun and began lobbying to come with us adding, "I am so ready for a little gun - one just my size!" I don't think so buddy - at least not yet.

On Arranged Marriages and the Impact of Team McK

2010-11-11T18:23:00.000-05:00

Before we get rolling here today, I am appalled that I have no new pictures! I organize my digital pictures in folders named by month and year and I haven't even had to bother to make a November 2010 folder yet. So very wrong.

But back on topic. Just the other day we had this conversation in the car:

Morrigan: Soon I will be a teenager and I will wear high heels, makeup and date.
Me: You don't want to date. It is gross.
Morrigan: But you had to date to find Daddy. How will I find a husband?
Me: Well you know, there are lots of cultures that have arranged marriages. Daddy and I can just find you a husband.
Maggie: It's true! She's already talked to Mrs. V about Eion marrying Eliza!

And he would be doing well to do so.

And then there was this gem this afternoon....

Hans: Mark said he had a great time last night [at Melanie & Jerry's for dinner.]
Morrigan: Of course he did. It's always a party when we are there.

Would that I could argue.

Check or Bet

2010-11-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

To my infinite delight, the children demanded I teach them to play poker the other day. So it was Texas Hold'em time chez McK. We started with some basics: which hands beat other hands, the betting process and the way the game works. Surprising everyone involved, they kind of got it. Now Eion requires LOTS of help, help he will routinely ignore because he likes to knock on the table for a check and feels compelled to fold top pair on the turn but he is a very happy guy while he is disregarding your advice.

The girls are generally understanding what hands will win but their difficulty seems to be seeing the potential, or lack thereof, of their own hands. They are largely unable to defend check raising with a Queen-two.

And we need to work on the poker faces. Maggie lights up like the White House Christmas tree when her cards come out on the board. Then again, she is in a better position than her brother who feels announcing his hole cards is a great idea.

But the good news is they like it and want to play daily. And it beats the hell out of Candyland.

Getting to the Bottom of It

2010-11-06T08:20:00.000-04:00

Now we know that Eion has taken a turn for the better these days but I can't say we really knew what prompted his improvement. But after this conversation, we may have one piece of the puzzle...

Me: Do you like Ms. DeFazio? [his teacher]
E: Yes, I love her.
Me: Is she your girlfriend?
E: [very seriously] Yes. I love her allot.

You know, whatever it takes.

Red Nation

2010-11-04T19:13:00.000-04:00

It is not very ladylike to gloat. So truly and honestly, I've been trying not to do so. But do you want to know what makes that so hard? What makes it hard is everything that has transpired since the 2008 election.

When I expressed my displeasure for Obama's agenda and I was told, by a source who will remain nameless, "Well he won and he is your President so you'd better shut up and deal with it."

Attending peaceful, civil, not to mention tidy, rallies only to be accused of being a racist. Or called a "teabagger." By no less than "my" President himself. And just in case you haven't googled the term, it's not just another name for Tea Party. It is an insulting, pejorative sexual reference that should never ever be used by an elected official who my taxes are paying to describe anyone. Unless we can level the playing field and refer to far left wackos as "rusty trombones" or "dirty sanchezes."

Watching a government who promised to televise on C-SPAN the healthcare reform debates instead engage in political sausage making that included buying off any number of Senators and House Representatives with exemptions, specifically excluded Republicans and produced a bill numbering in the thousands of pages that the members of Congress admitted openly they had not read.

Hearing the (former) Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, say we had to pass the healthcare reform bill to find out what is in it.

Watching the President say outrageous things like "I do think at a certain point you've made enough money" and appoint a "Pay Czar" to dictate bonuses in the private sector. Really? Last time I checked, the President is Commander in Chief and no where in his or her job description is the determination of private sector pay or how much we deserve to earn.

Deficit spending, which was unacceptable under Bush, went on steroids and spiraled out of control.

It was enough to dispirit a gal.

But just as the mainstream media was pronouncing Conservatism dead, as James Carville declared Democrats would be the ruling party for forty years, as the era of Reagan was deemed dead, something special happened. The American people rose up and said HELL NO. No, we don't want big government. No, we don't want a European style nanny state. No, we don't think your snobby, elitist behinds can make our lives better than freedom can. No, we don't think our society needs to be fundamentally transformed. No, we don't think income needs to be redistributed. And no, calling us (incorrectly) racists or teabaggers won't make us go away.

Then all those people showed up to vote. The GOP walked away with (at least - some races still pending) 63 House seats, 6 Senate seats, Republican Governors in places like Michigan, Ohio and Maine (and a whole lot more), and 18 state legislatures flipping to the right.

So as unladylike as it may be, I do feel a little smug. Because what had been rejected in the elections of 2006 and 2008 was not the Conservatism that I love and hold dear. The Conservatism that I have been told repeatedly over the last two years is dead and gone. It was centrist, smooshy, moderate Republicans. Now the true Conservatives are back and baby, it feels good.

Parent Teacher Conferences

2010-11-03T09:17:00.000-04:00

What? Did you assume I would go all political this morning? A fair assumption I suppose and I may indeed do so later in the day. But for now, parent teacher conferences!

First up, Maggie, who in her school picture looks like she will be totally bummed, dude, about Prop 19 in California going down.

This will make me sound like a smug bitch, but I asked Maggie's teacher, "Are you just going to have me come in so you can tell me Mags is doing great and is a delight to have in class?" "Pretty much," she said. So we skipped a formal conference.

Next up, Morrigan. (Whose school picture isn't back yet.)

A few worrisome grades had come home and her teacher was the one with whom I had interacted the least so I wasn't sure what to expect. But no worries necessary. She is getting a B in math (the horror) but otherwise is doing great. When I asked if she was prone to making inappropriate comments (I know my daughter), the answer was no more than the other kids. Alright! Two down leaving.....

Eion.

As you all know, we struggled with the decision to send him to Kindergarten. Even when we had committed to send him, we were about 50-50 on whether or not he would get to enjoy Kindergarten twice. But he has really turned a corner in the past few months and his teacher sees it too.

His benchmark testing was unremarkable but his teacher said there was no cause for concern. And his behavior has been downright acceptable! Ms. DeFazio told me how surprising that was. Apparently, when the classroom rosters were passed out, all the teachers were interested in knowing who got Eion. And I didn't get the impression that it was because they were all vying for him.

Other Teachers: "Oooh - who got Eion McK?"

Ms. DeFazio: [Dejectedly raising her hand and with a sigh] "I did."

She actually reenacted the conversation for me. But the story has a happy ending as he is not living up to his hype. And even hatless, he has turned out another awesome school picture.

Election Day Laughs

2010-11-02T19:06:00.000-04:00

So to give you a bit of background, where I am in Virginia there was one congressional seat on the ballot. Realistically, not a very interesting battle. We had Goodlatte, the incumbant Republican, Bain, the Libertarian candidate and Vanke, an Independent. The polls don't close for another few minutes but I think the whole of Roanoke would be shocked if Goodlatte didn't win reelection.

After volunteering at school this morning in Maggie's class (reading with the kids - she is perpetually disappointed that she isn't chosen to go with me not realizing it is the kids who need extra help who are singled out), I ran into Hans who was passing out literature for Jeff Vanke. We started talking about an upcoming vacation, tennis and all manner of non-political topics. Then who should walk up but Bob Goodlatte!

He poked a little fun at Hans and I was quick to add, "I am so not with this guy." Hans confirmed saying he was pretty sure I would have crawled through broken glass to vote Republican today. Not to mention my chatting with Hans was derailing his efforts to canvas.

Sadly, in spite of having my camera, I didn't think of a photo op. But considering I was in tennis clothes, pigtails and no makeup, it might have been for the best.

Halloween: The Final Chapter

2010-11-01T20:53:00.000-04:00

Two days and many parties in we aren't quite done. Sunday was time for the grand finale: Halloween. Since Maggie was just a baby, we have gone trick or treating with friends on the White Oak/Brightwood loop. I did ask the kids if they wanted to go to the more popular Stanley Ave., but they (to my delight) went with tradition.

David and Lori were hosting a pre-game and were kind enough to let me come complete with an entourage. We snacked on pizza and the adults geared up with some roadies before hitting the neighborhood. (Without my entourage, I might add. They decided I would be better off alone with the kids while they chilled there. I need a better crew.)

The portion of the neighborhood that used to take up our entire evening was completed in 15 minutes flat as the kids sprinted from house to house. Eion, who was struggling with his costume, broke into tears repeatedly, yelling, "Wait up! It's not a race!" Naturally, no one listened.

He went up to one house and the owner asked, "Who are you?" referring to his costume. He deadpanned, "I'm Eion." Priceless.

After dominating the first area, we moved on and met up with more friends who promptly got left in the dust by my children on a mission. No driveway was too long, no hill too high. For the girls anyway. Eion at a certain point seemed utterly unconcerned with more candy and was happy to hang out with me waiting for his sisters.

One thing that made the night awesome was the fact that "fall back" hadn't happened yet. The majority of trick-or-treating was while it was still light out. And it didn't hurt that the weather was just perfect and you barely needed a sweater. The kids, including Eion who couldn't keep up and Maggie who had an epic wipe out, deemed it the best Halloween ever. Indeed.

Halloween Parties: Take Two

2010-11-01T19:46:00.002-04:00

Enter Saturday, day two in a weekend long celebration. After swim practice, the kids' team was going en masse to Layman's Farms for hayride/pumpkin patch fun. While the kids were immediately drawn to the corn crib (think sandbox full of corn kernels,) they did then leave it and participate in other activities as opposed to last year when I think the E spent, quite literally, several hours knee deep in corn.

We actually went into the corn maze for the first time and, in spite of having a map, promptly got lost. Maggie told us, "I have a superior sense of direction. I'll get us out." Was more of a team effort but we did exit without too much trauma.

The kids were also quite keen on the varied pumpkins. We had already carved ours but I liked them too and couldn't resist a few more.

After going home, we had an hour break before it was off to the Club Halloween party.

The kids have gotten so darn good that we were able to spend almost the entire party socializing with the other adults. They were happy to run amok and loop repeatedly through the (not very scary) inflatable haunted house.

Maggie's friend, who had been at Summer events and was familiar with the soda and treasure dives, did ask if they would have to dive into the pool for the candy. And while that might have been entertaining for the parents, we aren't quite that mean!

Eion was briefly under siege from a gang of Spidermen, but he rallied. To be sure, he wasn't about to eat, but he was well behaved, albeit in an over-sugared way.

My girls were definitely on the older end and it reminded me our time is soon coming to an end at such parties. But I continually think each year is our last and my kids keep wanting to go. I'm up for it as long as they are. I loved all the little girls dressed as fairies. And I kind of miss when those fairies were my girls.

But not enough to go back. They were cute at that party but much higher maintenance. Their stamina wasn't up to today's levels either. Saturday we were, true to form, the first people there and among the last to leave.

Halloween Parties: Take One

2010-10-29T18:06:00.000-04:00

A weekend sure to be overloaded with candy and fun kicked off today with the school Halloween parties. I take that back, at Crystal Spring, they are called Halloween parties. At Highland Park, they are "Fall Parties." Have we had it with politically correct yet people? But I digress.

Stop one, Kindergarten. Mom & Dad came with me and we helped them get dressed for the Kindergarten parade through the school. Now feeling the spirit of the season, I came in full Glinda glory. And that glory was so great that Eion insisted I too come on the parade. Hmmm, hadn't counted on that.

But I made it without tripping on my dress and was well received, especially by the younger girls. Eion made sure to tell everyone he was Jango Fett and that I was his Mom. He was just the sweetest thing, insisting that we walk together the entire time.

The homeroom Mom, way more organized than me, had the room set up with four stations: snack, bingo, craft and a game where you wrapped another kid up as a mummy in toilet paper. The advance planning made for a smooth party even if E was not going to play mummy.

Then it was off to Maggie's class for another round of crafts, games and sugar, sweet sugar. I can say this, there is no shortage of generosity at this school. So much was donated we ended up leaving tons with the teacher to use for snacks in coming weeks.

Olivia was also a way organized homeroom Mom and we had multiple crafts and a game to play. We played bingo and it was so cute to see them get excited as they got close, calling out "I only need one more!!!" As it turned out, the prizes I bought (candy cane sticks with Halloween gummies) came in a pack of 24 (go Sam's Club) and everyone got a prize. While I am generally not a huge fan of the everything-needs-to-be-equal-all-the-time philosophy, I was won over by the smiles today.

After school, a friend commented that dismissal seemed a bit more chaotic than usual. I think we can safely say it was the sugar!

Sugar which is sure to be in ample supply at the weekend's other events. We're just getting started....

This Election Season

2010-10-29T17:27:00.000-04:00

C'mon now, you didn't think this close to an election that I would have nothing of a political nature, did you? Though I will say that while this will have some political undertones (or overtones as the case may be,) I am going to consider its overarching goal as informational. Should it sway your vote to the right as well, even better.

My parents are visiting and my Dad and I were discussing some contract work he has done. I was telling him (again) to make sure he files his quarterly estimates so he doesn't get a fine or end up with an unexpected tax bill. He let me know that he was going to pay some of his tax bill with money he is owed now but he planned to defer until the new year, making it taxable income for 2011. At this point, gigantic red flags are going up and I told him that is the very last thing he wanted to do since everyone's taxes are going up when the Bush tax cuts expire.

Now, I generally consider my Dad, a computer programmer, to be a smart guy. But his response shocked me. He said he didn't need to worry about that since the Bush tax cuts had only helped people who made more than $200,000 and they were the only people facing a tax increase.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot.

So I became concerned. Clearly, he had been snowed by the mainstream media into thinking the tax increases were only on the "rich." How many other unsuspecting people did I know who were not aware of the taxation surprises that await them in 2011? Therefore, I am taking it upon myself to put a little truth out there for ya. I don't care if you like Bush, don't like Bush, or what side of the aisle you favor, what I am going to provide here are some non partisan cold, hard facts.

Everyone's Taxes Will Go Up if the Bush Tax Cuts Expire
There are currently six tax brackets: 10%, 15%, 25%, 28% 33%, and 35%. If nothing is done, the rates come January 1, 2011 will become: 15%, 28%, 31%, 36% and 39.6%. In case the numbers are not clear enough, this means every American who pays taxes has a rate increase.

Child Tax Credit Decreases
The per child deduction will drop from $1,000 to $500 and eligibility for the credit will become more stringent. Everyone who claims a child on their tax return will face an increased tax burden due to lesser deductions.

Capital Gains Tax Increase
The capital gains tax is currently between 0% and 15% depending on the income of the filer. Everyone can say goodbye to those rates as they rise to 20%.

The Marriage Penalty is Back!
The Bush tax cuts made the standard exemption for married filers twice that of a single filer. But come January, married couples will have an exemption that (per person) will be lower than single filers.

What does this mean for you? Duh. Higher taxes. Without a legislative intervention, we are all in for a bigger tax bill. Just something to think about as you head to the ballot box.

And if you need something else to think about, consider how the Democrats and the media have successfully convinced a large portion of the population that these were rich people's tax cuts when they clearly benefited all taxpayers. They were lying about it. Do we think they might be lying about some other things too?

Run Away

2010-10-29T08:27:00.001-04:00

Morrigan's school started a running club with the intention of running a 5K in December. Now, I was as shocked as anyone could be that she wanted to join and in spite of needing absolutely no additional activities, I couldn't turn down her request for more physical activity. And I promised that anytime I could, I would come run with them on Thursdays. I run a couple of 5Ks a week so I don't really need to train per se but I wanted to encourage her.

My parents are here and willing to watch Maggie and Eion so yesterday Tim and I were both able to join her. They have the kids divided into groups loosely based on their speed and each group has one or two parents or teachers with it. Morrigan's group only needed one more chaperon so Tim ran with her while I was with another group. We had slightly different experiences.

My group was clearly the over-achievers. We were looping around Highland Park and the goal for the day was 2-3 laps which was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2.5 miles. My kids immediately decided they should run five laps. They asked me, "How fast can we run?" I said as long as I could keep up, they could go as fast as they wanted which translated into damn near my top speed with as few breaks as they could manage.

The goal of five laps was not enough and they added that they wanted to lap all the other groups. I am currently fighting a cold which was not at all helping my situation and made the running somewhat unpleasant. Mercifully, one boy fell and I got to take a break to get him a band aid. (Well not mercifully he fell - more mercifully I got a rest. You know what I mean.) But even that was short lived as he was devastated to have to quit early and he insisted on rejoining the runners. He and I finished essentially sprinting past another group.

Now Tim's group was another story. When we got home, I asked if he was going to shower. He said there was no need as he never broke a sweat. Seeing as I had just been killing myself, I was intrigued. Apparently, one member of his group was winded just walking to the start of the trail. From there, it was allot of walking, very little running and only then under duress and a great deal of complaining. Soundbites included:

"If I were a ninja, I would be able to run fast."

"You can't work an animal too hard or they'll quit."

"I would be a fast runner but I am too slow."

Tim and the other Dad spent the whole time goading them into running and setting goals like, "Let's just run to that sign 50 yards up." These were not the over-achievers. Having grown up playing ice hockey, baseball, football and just about every other sport, Tim didn't understand these kids at all but figured it looked like they were the ones who needed it the most and pressed on. The other Dad said he was just glad they ran some this week rather than walking the whole time.

While the sprinters were fun to run with, I think Morrigan was disappointed I was not with her on team lollygagger. Hopefully next week I can join her.

Thrown Directly Under the Bus

2010-10-25T19:23:00.000-04:00

So I volunteer in Eion's class on Mondays and I was telling his teacher how disappointed he was to miss the pumpkin patch trip last Friday due to illness. She then told me of this great interaction with Maggie on Thursday...

Teacher: Maggie, do you think Eion will be back at school tomorrow? I know he and you Mom are looking forward to going on the field trip.
Maggie: Well she doesn't actually, really want to go. She's just going because she has to.
Teacher: Well Maggie, none of us really want to take 60 Kindergartners to the pumpkin patch.

Way to sell me out Mags. Sweet baby Jesus I need to be more careful about what I say in front of these kids.

Halloween Parties, Swim Meets and Sick Little Boys

2010-10-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

I always know it is bad when I have to go read my own blog to see where I left off. This week was highly irregular and threw my whole routine off. Eion was under the weather and stayed home Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. The poor little guy was intermittently running a fever and was just puny looking.

Unfortunately for us all, Thursday was the last ODTA tennis match and, knowing our opponent, there was no chance of rescheduling. But the good news is Eion is used to hanging out in country club tennis shops and watching tv. I hopped him up on motrin and dragged him along. The matches themselves? Choc full o' drama - some of which is still under executive review so I'm going to cover that topic a bit later. And yes, I did use the words "drama" and "executive review" when writing about the lowest level of country club tennis. Can you say "too much time on some people's hands?" But E was great and caused nary a problem, which is more than I can say for my opponent.

The weekend was poised to be even busier than normal kicking off with THE Halloween party. We pre-gamed with Ann, Hans, Sean and Amy before heading off to the party, held for the first time at a downtown location.

Behold the dress that had to be completely taken apart and reassembled:

Bet you didn't know Marie Antoinette had a pimp.

Sean and Amy, topical as ever, were a stink bug and exterminator. Would that I had more interesting ideas. I just tend to go with big, over the top dresses. Oh well, once a princess, always a princess.

The party was, as ever, outstanding. Our friends Tom and Kirsten were in from West Virginia adding to the fun.

There was a full complement of Chilean miners - and their mistresses.

We danced the night away until I noticed dancing was becoming difficult. And then standing became increasingly troublesome. And then my kind friends were smart enough to escort me to a sofa. The Designated One drove us all home though in retrospect, I probably could have done with leaving just a wee bit earlier.

Especially considering it was a swim meet weekend. Now I love the outdoor swim meets in the Summer. You're hanging out by the pool, generally in nice weather, with all your friends, having a few pops. Not to mention, you get to see the friends you've been missing since school let out when you compete against their Clubs. Fall/Winter swim meets on the other hand, are brutal. You do get to see buds but beyond that, it is approaching torture and that's without a blistering hangover.

You're in a loud, hot pool area and there tends to be allot of shouting and whistles. But I rallied and clearly my misery had company as I could see many other party attendees (and hosts) looking a little green around the gills too. The long morning was finally over around 11am and we packed up and headed home where I discovered Eion let Tim sleep until 11:15! Seriously, this was some major bullsh*t. I was up at 6:30 and then spent my morning at a swim meet and he got to sleep?

E apparently fed and entertained himself. When Tim woke up, Eion was sitting on our bed and informed him, "You slept through wake up time!" Hmmph.

Though it felt like I had already put in beyond a full day, we were hosting a couples poker game that night and more rallying was called for. I was knocked out early but didn't mind too too much since then I was free to socialize with Kirsten and Melanie. Not to mention my concentration was, shall we say, a bit on the low side.

Sunday was day two of the swim meet and while still not as good as Summer meets, was markedly better than the day before. I was really proud of both the girls. Morrigan, who was given the option of not competing, decided she wanted to enter. Having just aged up, all her events were 50M or more. And she was generally DFL but she was happy, had a good time and improved many of her times.

Her happiness may be a bit tilted at practice Monday when the ribbons are passed out and her sister gets several and she gets none. Maggie generally finished 5th or 6th for her age group but dropped time in everything including a 20 second drop in her 50 Free. She was also legal in all four strokes for the first time.

I couldn't have been prouder of both of them! To celebrate a successful swim meet, we had family movie day complete with popcorn and ice cream. Though Tim and I may have dozed off just a bit.

With This Ring

2010-10-18T17:43:00.000-04:00

We went to a wedding this weekend for the first time since about 2002. A co-worker of Tim's was getting married. It was a second marriage for both and I knew their kids (in the ballpark of our own) were coming so we rolled the dice and accepted the "and family' portion of the invitation.

The girls had been looking forward to it for weeks and weeks. They got over their initial disappointment of not actually being in the wedding rather quickly. Eventually, they had to agree with my iron-clad logic that they personally didn't know the bride and groom which would make their inclusion rather odd.

The next hurdle was their attire. Eion was more than happy to don his seersucker suit. The girls, on the other hand, bemoaned having to wear dresses they had worn "a least three times" when "everyone else would have new dresses." I assured them I would not have a new dress and offered up the idea they could buy the new dresses. The idea lost favor quickly after that.

The ceremony and reception were at The Kyle House in Fincastle (seriously, more than all the way across town) which, in spite of it not being in the bubble, was quite lovely. It was a small, intimate affair. To my surprise and delight, the kids were well within tolerances. Certainly, they were a bit, ummm, enthusiastic, after a few sugar sodas but I give them high marks overall.

Eion saw the bride before the wedding and was smitten. He told Tim, "I want to kiss the girl in the bride dress." And later, he made sure he did.

He also was a fixture on the dance floor and tried to dance with the bride as much as he could. Crystal was a more than a good sport and danced with him a couple of times.

The girls were all about dancing too, though in Morrigan's case, it trended interpretive.

And they got to participate in their first bouquet throw, which they found very exciting.

While we were just about the last people there (Team McK being last out - who knew!) the kids had to be dragged out. All the merriment certainly took a toll with all three falling asleep on the way home.

The fun the kids had (while hopefully adding to the fun) made me [almost] feel a little bad about my adults-only reception 15 years ago. Almost.

From The E Files

2010-10-14T21:10:00.000-04:00

Did I mention that lately, the E has totally turned a corner? Case in point, this conversation yesterday...

Girls (singing): All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

Me: All I want for Christmas is lots of hugs and kissing.

Eion: Then today is Christmas for you. I have all your hugs and kisses.

I may even forgive him for wearing that "Thing 1" tshirt on picture day.

And All Else Universal

2010-10-13T21:47:00.000-04:00

As I look back, I probably should have done these posts in reverse but screw it, too late. If you're just signing on now, go down a couple of posts and get all caught up.

Back? Ok, let's go.

Topic One: Eion

While this will come as a surprise to all acquainted with the E, he was the bomb on the trip. He was generally well behaved and hilarious to boot. some of the better quotes:

When asking about his available allowance money, "Do I have $5?" "Yes, you do." "Good. Then I'll waste it."And he did.

"I used the stand up and sit down potties. It was a good time."

"Yeah! I get to ride with Mom! I love Mom!"

While he was a bit fearful of almost every ride, once we got (forced) him to go on, he was happy and wanted to go back again and again.

Topic Two: My Kids Make Me Humble

So Tim and I were making fun of all the families who bought the Dr. Seuss themed Thing 1, Thing 2, Thing 3 shirts. And we were going on about how, in general, clever shirts were less than clever and should be avoided at all costs. Then Eion used his allowance money, which we had promised would be restriction free for the trip, to buy a Thing 1 shirt. And wear it the rest of the vacation. And wear it to picture day today. While bias will show, he did look kind of cute.

During another attraction, we were mocking the "I'm going to add to the fun" guys. You know them. When the poor schlep working the ride says their scripted bit, that guy has to throw out a zinger. Well we were talking about how we hated that guy right up until Morrigan, during the Olivander's Wand Shop experience, became that guy. So much so she was shushed by an adult. Not that it stopped her.

Topic Three: Sylvester McMonkey McBean was Demonized

Go back and read The Sneetches again. My main man Sylvester was just providing a service. He was a good capitalist. Protecting the Sneetches from themselves was not his job. Nor should it be. Silly, shallow Sneetches.

Topic Four: The Importance of Water Gear

Even when it was not listed, there was water all over the place. We were much happier when we a) had the kids' bathing suits along and b) also packed a change of clothes. Being able to let go in Curious George land because you know you have dry clothes for all the minions is delightful. And it lets you relax with some $6 beers.

Topic Five: Know When to Drive and When to Passenge

When it is the start of the day, don't listen to the kids. While everyone else is going right to Harry Potter, you should go left to Spider Man, Jurassic Park and Toon Town. When the Harry Potter overflow hits the rest of the park, let the kids drive and happily spend 2 hours in the Dr. Seuss (water filled) playland, knowing full well you have a change of clothes for all involved.

Topic Six: Sometimes You Should Wait an Inordinate Amount of Time for a Ride

While you might not find it worthwhile, you might find out that you make a kid's day.

Topic Seven: Rest Easy

Knowing all the kids had just about the best time ever.

Does the Wizarding World of Harry Potter Live Up to the Hype?

2010-10-13T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well, yes and no. On the plus side: it is very well done and just like you would imagine Hogsmeade. The ride in Hogwarts castle was awesome and the other rides and attractions we rode and saw were great too. (Couldn't ride the dragon roller coaster - damn short kids.)

BUT - it was still so busy. I personally don't find any ride worth an hour wait. And people are so geared up that they were quick to lose their manners. For example, a family cut in front of us in line. I could see that they hadn't meant to do it so I brought it to their attention. Response: no we didn't - this is the end of the line. Well I and the the Brazilian family saying what sounds like some pretty disparaging things in Portuguese behind me beg to differ.

That being said, I think it will be just lovely in January 2012 when all the fanboys have had a chance to visit and the waits are 15, rather than 60+, minutes.

So technical evaluation done, can I tell you my catty eval? Seriously, never a larger collection of geeks have I seen. And I know as Her Highness, Queen of the Dorks. If I had a nickel for every fat, pasty white teenager in a "mischief managed" shirt, I would be rich. Oh and the people in full wizard costume. Yes sweetie, no one else thought of that. And by the by, wearing knee socks, a scarf and a cloak in 85 degree heat is sh*t all stupid.

I was also floored by the 20ish person deep line waiting to buy butterbeer. Ok people, one, you have no idea what it tastes like and two, it is something concocted by the marketing wizards (good pun eh?) at Universal. That being said, same marking gurus caused me to have to purchase three wands at an eye-popping $30 each. Plus two stuffed animal Crookshanks ($25 each) that we got to carry around all day (priceless.) And got me to pay $6 each for beers. Though the beers were totally worth it. Not to mention, Morrigan said it was the best thing ever and that was definitely totally worth it.

Quick Trip to Florida

2010-10-13T20:33:00.000-04:00

So seriously, life has been handing it to me lately. I just looked and realized it has been ten full days since my last post. Ten! But I have at least a little excuse. In addition to the normal flurry of activity, we did go to Florida for five days. And knowing full well that after a full day of fun park excitement I would be in no mood to blog, I didn't even bother with the laptop. But we're back and ready for the full debrief.

Morrigan has been wanting to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando since about forever or at least since she heard about it. The grand opening looked to be a complete nightmare with hours of waiting just to get in and I am sure, more lines after that. We figured, somewhat correctly, that by now the frenzy would die down and the park would be manageable. So we loaded up and headed South.

Our Travelocity deal ($330 each for flight and 4 nights in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath condo) did require a connection through Detroit which meant we flew North just to turn around and fly South. The buffoonery was compounded when we missed our connection in spite of the entire family, mini suitcases in tow - be damned if I am paying to check a bag, ran thorough several terminals. As we dashed up to our gate, 15 minutes before departure time, plane still at the gate, we were told it was too late. Morrigan burst into tears which probably was to our favor as the gate attendant got us on the next flight in first class!

And it wasn't just regular first class but the kind with the kick ass seats that can be maneuvered in 16 directions and have their own tv with movies on demand. The ensuing two hour delay once we boarded was much more pleasant with drinks and snacks! You know, first class is the best. When my kids didn't like the lunch, the flight attendant got them all chips and cookies. She even gave us a few extra bags to take for later. If I weren't so frugal, I could get used to this.

Anyway, a few hours delayed we arrived at the Floridays resort and my in-laws came to hang out at the pool with us, bringing much needed beers.

The next morning, it was off to Universal. We spent all three days there as the marginal cost of the third day was $10 each where as switching to another park would have been $500+. The kids were a bit disappointed that we didn't hit Sea World and Disney but were appeased with the knowledge that we would visit those parks next time.

This post is getting a little long in the tooth so I am going to split it up. My whole Universal review, details and the lot coming up.

Here Comes Halloween

2010-10-03T20:41:00.001-04:00

For at least two weeks, the kids have been badgering me to get out the decorations for Halloween. Busy weekends combined with illness delayed us but we finally (their emphasis) got around to it Saturday. While I have a certain way I would choose to set things out, I knew that most of the fun for them was unpacking our expansive collection of decorations and placing each item. So I let them have at it. And this was the result:

Four boxes of various Halloween gear and this is all that ended up on the main floor. The balance is all in their rooms. I thought about remedying the situation when they go to school tomorrow but decided against it. Is the house well appointed? Not so much. But the kids are thrilled with their work and I would hate to take that away.

I also spent an inordinate amount of time on my Halloween costume. After going through page upon page of eBay auctions of the trashy variety, I found a dress someone had made themselves. It was flouncy and over the top, just like I like my costumes. And based on the measurements they gave, about the right size.

Then it came in the mail. I am not sure where they learned to measure, but this dress was huge - easily 5 or 6 sizes too big. Not to mention, the maker was not much of a seamstress. So I thought what the hell, I can sew. Why not alter it myself. Why not? Because it will end up taking hours and hours and hours. I essentially deconstructed the whole damn thing, made it smaller and reconstructed it, deciding along the way that the sleeves were all wrong and making some new ones from scratch. At this point, my brother Dominick, professional costumer, who completely abandoned me, lost the forgiveness he had received for said betrayal. [Not really DRV - you know I love you.]

But in the end, it's hopefully worth it. Morrigan said it is "The most beautiful costume ever." Granted, that's what she said last year too. Could I have topped Glinda?

I Love My Neighborhood

2010-10-01T20:48:00.000-04:00

For reasons I can't quite pin down, I've been feeling a bit out of sorts the past few weeks. (OK - I have some theories including but not limited to my epic loss at tennis yesterday and the ongoing "clean living" diet around here that Tim is spearheading which has a noted lack of both sugar and wine.) Anyway, I was bummed we had to leave all the sunshiny fun at the park this afternoon for swim practice when Amy suggested we meet back up at the park around 5:30, get some pizza, and make it a picnic. Seeing as Tim was at work until 8 and pizza has most definitely NOT been on the clean living diet, I was in.

Later, on my way to get some drive though Little Caesars, Amy called and said we might want more than the original number of pies discussed as we had added a few people. Well those people called some people and before you know it, it was a happening. We even had a few people driving home from work see the gathering and stop by themselves. And the slight overestimation of number of pizzas needed on my part meant we had plenty to share with any kid (or adult) who came calling.

And it was just what I needed. The kids played, the adults chatted and everyone was happy. Including me. It does appear that about all I needed to lift my spirits was an impromptu picnic. Thank goodness I live in the neighborhood that has them.

Under the Weather

2010-09-28T21:30:00.001-04:00

Yuck - I have been struggling with a cold for the past few days. That combined with a jam packed weekend has kept me far from the blogosphere lately. But before I was down for the count, we had a weekend with back to back Supper Club and Cocktail Club. Staying out (relatively) late two nights in a row is getting harder and harder as I get older but it was well worth catching up with friends.

The Supper Club theme was Julia Child recipes and it was darn good. Molly's beef bourguignon and Ann's chocolate mousse were the stand outs but as per usual, everything was awesome.

Friday afternoon at swim practice I found out there was a Saturday morning Marlin only meet - a biathlon of sorts in a team building effort. The kids (from 4-18) were divided into two teams and they ran 50 and 100 yard dashes and swam several events.

Maggie had a great time finishing 2nd in her running heats and first in her swimming heats.

And like ying to yang, Morrigan finished dead last in all her events.

The poor thing has aged up and all the events are 50M and above and she is the youngest in the group. I have to convince her not to compete or it will be one long arse year.

Happily for me, all was forgotten when the picnic lunch was served complete with cupcakes and cookies galore. We were supposed to take Maggie to a birthday party but she said her stomach hurt too much to go (see ample treats at lunch) so we skipped that and headed to fencing for Morrigan.

By the time we were done there, I was plenty ready to drop E off at his birthday party and head home for a nap.

But it was not to be as the sweet hostess invited the whole crew to stay. Goodbye nap! Thankfully, there were more treats. My children were well on their way to becoming cupcakes.

By Sunday morning my throat tickle was a full blown cold so harsh it derailed my workout when I got too dizzy to lift. But on the plus side, for the first time in about 9 years, I was able to lay in bed all day and nurse my sickness. I told the kids to have their way with the tv and I was going to nap. And they did, and I did, all afternoon. It was lovely and unexpected. To top it off, it poured rain all day long so I didn't even have to look out at a sunny day and feel guilty about my kids (and me) being inside all day. Not to mention, when the week's activities started full steam on Monday, I was really glad for that day of rest.

Lucky Number Seven

2010-09-22T20:36:00.000-04:00

Sweet Maggie turned seven today. We harassed her all week saying she couldn't get any older and would have to be six again. This resulted in a much too grown up rolling of the eyes each and every time.

Naturally, there were treats for the class. What she really, really wanted was store bought, iced sugar cookies. From Kroger. You mean you are releasing Mommy from any baking obligations? Done and done! She took the leftover cookies (they came in boxes of 10 and we needed 24) and distributed them to her brother's teacher and all of her teachers of years past.

She accepted the same deal as her sister and was bought off in the "$100 if you don't have a party" arrangement. It was beautiful for everyone. She feels rich and I was spared a house of sugared up 7 and 8 year olds or the alternate hell that is the destination birthday event. Though I did hear a rumor she was still trying to solicit gifts from her friends. When questioned about this breach of etiquette, she told me with those wide blue eyes, "Oh no, Friend A asked me if I wanted a gift." Good news is it seems she wasn't very persuasive. No surprise presents.

She did get to choose a present from us. Tim and I were wandering aimlessly at the mall, trying to decide what she would want. Finally, we went with the very practical but underused maneuver of just asking her. The desired gift: fancy Japanese erasers. We made a special trip to the store and she was allowed to pick out three sets. After much deliberation and $17.86 later, we were good.

We don't eat out allot so we thought it might be special to go out to dinner, especially considering how cheaply we were getting off already. The decision was largely driven by Morrigan but Maggie decided in the end we would eat at El Toreo, home of, and I quote, "the awesome Mexican chicken fingers." Mags and E each had soda, we were loose about salt usage, and there were chips. What more can you ask?

Except, that is, to lose a tooth on your birthday! Maggie's tooth has been painfully loose for days - dangling and flapping and looking on the verge of exiting her mouth at any moment. I had a feeling she was "saving" its loss for her birthday and I was right. And she lost it at dinner. There was much rejoicing and speculation about whether or not you get extra tooth fairy money if the tooth is a "birthday" tooth. HA! With my fairy record, she'll be lucky to get anything.

Then home for cake. Maggie was whispering to herself over her candle before blowing it out. Tim said it looked like she was making a wish. "I am." she said. "I wished for the best birthday ever and it already came true."

Family Fun Gone Awry

2010-09-19T18:31:00.000-04:00

Ever just get the feeling that the day has gotten away from you and headed down a bad, bad path even though you had very solid plans to make it great? Then you could be me today!

In spite of being out a little late at poker (we did come in first and second!), we were determined to get up and go to yoga and then swim some laps in the pool. There was a bit of arm twisting necessary but we made it to the gym with minimal trauma. Yoga was lovely, in spite of the two late arrivals. Really people, if you are 15 minutes late, you are just too late. You are messing with my zen.

Then we hit the pool. All three kids wanted to join us and were strikingly well behaved. They mostly played in the therapy pool while we swam, though Morrigan also joined in the lap swimming. After two weeks in my adult swim class, it was clear I was going to need some extra practice. New people keep coming, all of whom claim to be self taught and terrible swimmers. And they all continue to swim faster than me. Hence, the Sunday swimming.

So far, so good. We planned to go to the Club pool this afternoon as we just learned it was open weekends in September - love that new heater! But just as we were all suited up and packed to go, I received an email that the pool was closed due to a large, unspecified animal having decided to end its life in said pool. Bring on plan B which, up until that very moment, was not at all defined.

Molly had mentioned that she and the kids went to the Greek Festival the day before so we thought that might be a plan. Now, we don't live in a very big town and if there is some sort of festival, odds are it is at Elmwood Park. So without looking up anything, we charged downtown, complete with E, who refused to change out of his swim attire.

As we walked in, I thought that the Greek Festival really drew a different crowd than I expected - lots of young people and a fair number of adventurous dressers. We seemed to be getting some looks but I didn't get why. The speaker on stage was talking about a local performance of The Wizard of Oz. I didn't see the connection until we rounded the bend and found ourselves awash in rainbows. Alas, it was not the Greek Festival but the Roanoke Pride Festival. We traversed the the main stage area as the emcee called out, "Do we have any gays in the audience? And how about lesbians, and bisexuals, and transgenders?"

I'm a fan of the other team. They make excellent friends, brothers and brother in laws. What I am not a fan of is spending my Sunday family day trying to explain to a five year old what transgender means. So we passed the stage and just kept walking as the cover band played Abba's Dancing Queen.

After a tour through the largely unoccupied downtown market area (we did pick up some awesome homemade soap), we rallied to head over to the Greek Festival, the iPhone having provided us with the actual location.

What we found was disappointing if not particularly surprising. It was a bounce house (for an extra charge), face painting (for $3), and a marketplace with quasi-authentic wares. [Tim was quite taken with the belly dancing workout dvd.] Soon the girls were begging for all sorts of jangly scarves that would never again see the light of day. We narrowly escaped purchasing said items when I saw a noisy necklace of which I had an exact replica. I hadn't worn it in years but knew where it was. The promise of jewelry shopping in Mommy's room was enough to pacify the girls.

What did look completely awesome was the food. It looked and smelled fantastic. Its allure was only enhanced by the glance I had into the kitchen where a half dozen old Greek women were hard at work. But as fate would have it, Tim has recently challenged his brother to the Turkey Trot 5K at Thanksgiving and is on this clean eating kick. I didn't think I could have a very satisfying meal eating alone while the kids complained and Tim just looked hungrily at me.

Home it was then where the new jewelry treasures quickly lost their luster. That was when the fighting and complaining recommenced.

And the hammer came down.

We had a real come to Jesus moment when I re instituted the Chore Chart, after a much too long Summer absence, and added a Kindergarten style happy and sad face hierarchy, all of which is tied to the all important allowance. I must have made an impression as the kids all went and immediately started cleaning their rooms and toys. We'll see if it holds. Me, I'm calling it a day and watching football. Clearly, family day as designed is not going to happen.

Stumped

2010-09-16T20:22:00.001-04:00

So my very favorite holiday, Halloween, approaches and the "save the date" for my very favorite adult Halloween party is out. And I am stumped. Last year, you may recall, I was very happy to be Glinda, the Good Witch.

It was pink, fluffy and delightful. It made me happy. Following the witch theme, I planned to be the White Witch from Narnia this year.

I had my brother Dominick, professional costume maker, signed onto help but his workload is such that he had to, with my blessing, bail. That costume is a bit beyond my seamstress abilities so it was back to the drawing board.

What I have discovered in my search for a replacement costume is that the Halloween industry has decided that all women want to be some variety of slut. The term they employ is sexy but really, they're all pretty trampy.

Right now on eBay there are sexy, read: trashy, women's costumes of the following flavors: Queen of Hearts, pirate, Dorothy, Robin (of Batman and Robin), witch, spacegirl, vampire, cop, and, the most unbelievable, crayon. The list goes on. So far, I have yet to find a non-sleazy costume for sale there.

I cry foul. For the most part, the majority of women don't really look that good in these. They simply should not exist in size 22. And if we're being honest with ourselves, even the ones with the body to pull it off come off as desperate for attention and, though it may be by design, slutty looking. Not to mention, lacking imagination. What am I going to do? Well I can assure you I won't be the "sexy" Glinda. The search goes on....

Family View

2010-09-15T19:07:00.000-04:00

So at back to school night, they often like to have a little picture or project the kids made. In Eion's case, it was a drawing of our family.

I was concerned at the lack of Daddy but was quickly informed that the black, headless, armless figure in the middle was indeed him. Ok. Found the inclusion of the dead cat of interest as well.

But the best part was that when they were drawing them, the teacher asked which figure was Eion and he replied, "The one with the sticking up hair, of course."

The Reports Are In

2010-09-13T19:36:00.000-04:00

So at pick up today I see E's teacher from last year and she tells me, "Ask Eion why he was on the bench at recess." Well F, I think - it has begun. So I asked his teacher what happened. She couldn't remember at first but then realized it was that he was talking to another table at lunch. It wasn't that big a deal, she said, but next week we aren't eating with them and the lunch ladies can get nasty.

I just had to laugh. This indiscretion pales in comparison to previous E exploits. I mean, who can forget classics like, "Your son has taken off his pants and is throwing chairs at the other children" or when he was the first preschooler of the year to be sent to the Principal's office for trying to run away from school. Talking too much? That's nothing.

His teacher went on to say that after my warning about his "spirited" nature before school began, she had steeled herself for the worst. But to the surprise of all involved, he has been pretty well behaved. Prove me wrong every day of the week baby. I love it.

School, Glorious School

2010-09-09T22:17:00.000-04:00

Did I say I was sad to see Summer go? Moowaahahaha! Take it all back. I am making the absolute most of my time while the kiddos are in school. (And by the by, this post is all me so if you are looking for news on the wee ones, check back tomorrow.)

After dropping the minions off this morning, it was off to the gym for some pre-tennis weight lifting. I find it calms my game day jitters. Then on to an excellent tennis day - all three courts won by my team. My partner and I were in what seemed like the world's longest match, with the first set in a tie break and the match decided by a super tiebreak, but we pulled it out in the end. And naturally, we looked awesome in the fall team uniforms!

One of the team members did say these were very Katie with a fitted top and flouncy skirt but honestly, if they were really me, wouldn't they be pink?

Then it was on to swim lessons, that is, my swim lessons. True to my word, I promised Morrigan that I would learn to swim if she continued swimming as well. The coach, who I see routinely at the gym, did not believe my warnings that I completely suck in the water. I am a very terrestrial kind of girl. She must have thought I was exaggerating or being modest until she saw me in the water. I was laughable. I am slow, lack style, and as Tim would say, look like an epileptic on meth when swimming. During a 25 butterfly (with flippers), I totally cramped up and had to take refuge on the lane line. It was downright embarrassing. Good news is I have no where to go but up. I simply can't get any worse.

But poor performance swimming and all, it was a great day. I love school.

And How 'Bout Those Kids

2010-09-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

Herein are largely reports from my MIL, who bravely took on three separate, and never ending I hear, orientations and the first day of school.

On the subject of our recently deceased cat:

The kids rallied rather quickly. Maggie told us that "It's just the life cycle of the cat. Sometimes you live and sometimes you get run over." Alrightly then. Apparently one of the only mentions of the cat in our absence was when the kids observed that, "We're going to have mice now because Midnight is dead and Jack is useless." While I may not yet have been forgiven, they seem to have moved on.

And On School:

The E was raring to go after his orientation. He had his clothes laid out four days in advance and asked every morning "Do I go to school today?" Until of course the first day when he had no interest in going. Way to keep Grandma on her toes E. In further Grandma harassment, he refused to kiss her goodbye stating his friends might see and he would be embarrassed. Say it isn't so my little five year old! He has also determined, by what means I have no earthly idea, that he is in the "smart class." I think it is best if I just say no comment here.

Maggie Mae, that would be the girl wearing the poncho in 90 degree heat (I did tell Nance to let them dress themselves), has already charmed her teacher. I went up today and introduced myself after school since I had missed orientation and she told me, "Oh Maggie is just the sweetest thing!" The same Mags who, when making a wish while we were gone, wished I was back home. I love that girl!

Morrigan is all fired up to be back at school. On her Spring SOLs (state-wide tests) she scored perfect scores on three tests and missed 2 questions on the remaining one. Her teacher told her that if she had scored all perfect scores, she would have met City Council and the Mayor. She was pissed and determined to miss zero questions next year. Maybe if I told her they are liberals, she would feel better about the missed opportunity. Oh I'm kidding. I mean, they are pretty liberal, but I am not doing a thing to prevent her from wanting to improve her scores!

But we are back in the thick of school and after school activities. And as much as I hated to see Summer end, it feels pretty good.

And I Hit the Ground Running

2010-09-08T20:30:00.000-04:00

Whew. After a completely brutal travel day, we are back from Coeur d'Alene. And by brutal, I mean long and punishing. We started out in a van to the airport that managed to induce immediate car sickness allowing me to spend the entire 45 minute ride focused entirely on not vomiting. We then took three planes routing us home from Spokane to Minneapolis to Atlanta to Roanoke. By our arrival chez nous at 11:30pm, I was beat.

But you can't complain about homecoming when Doug and Nancy (my in-laws) are babysitting. The house and grounds were in decidedly better condition than we left them: weeds pulled, garage cleaned, flower beds mulched, retaining wall repaired. And the kids were happy too! They might be too good - my friends want to hire them. And they probably pay better than we do!

The remainder of our trip was relaxing and refreshing. Coeur d'Alene is a lovely town, if a bit sleepy, which suited us just fine. The scenery was gorgeous:

There was a three-ish mile hiking trail not far from the hotel which was fantastic. Its accent was not as steep as many around here, but it a great hike. On our last day we looped it twice.

The town also had fun details like the many artistic bike racks. I just loved these.

When Tim was in his conference (sadly, he did have to work), I roamed the town, ran, went to the spa and caught some of the US Open - when I needed a break from all my relaxing.

Wonderful, low-key vacation. And I think I came back just relaxed enough to hit the ground running and tackle the veritable mountain of paperwork from the children's schools waiting for me. More about that later...

You Know...

2010-09-03T15:21:00.000-04:00

You know what you forget when you don't travel without kids for a while? How absolutely inefficient and selfish you can be. I spent the entire plane ride reading or watching a movie. No one needed help going to the bathroom. No fights needed mediation. It was lovely. I'm sure for seasoned business travelers, the thrill of such downtime is gone, but for homebodies like me, it was great.

And then this morning. I got up at the same time as Tim, who had to be at his conference at 7:30am. I was all set to go work out when I realized that if I went out at that moment, I would be done at 9ish, nothing would be open, and I would have hours and hours ahead of me. So I was lazy. And slow. I blogged. I unpacked. I read. Eventually, I did get around to working out. Even though I am generally an indoor runner, the trail along the lake was too pretty for me to be inside.

And it was a good thing I chose outside, because the gym here is beyond substandard.

I'm looking forward to lunch with Tim, if he ever gets out of his conference, and spending the afternoon lollygagging around downtown. While I will love seeing my kids in a few days, I am seriously enjoying just taking care of me. And I was worried I would be bored! So far, this is a great vacation.

Westward Bound

2010-09-03T15:08:00.000-04:00

So after all the cat demise induced tears of Thursday morning, Tim and I were off to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. In spite of our poor choice in date selection, I was excited to add two states to my "visited" roster. We were flying into Spokane, Washington and I have never been to either Washington or Idaho. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect. Consequently, I packed for everything. I'm pretty sure Nancy and Doug think I am never coming back.

Our flights were without incident and largely on time with the longer leg passing quickly since Tim had the foresight to download Inglourious Basterds to his iPad. I wasn't even irritated at the crying kids on the flight. I was just happy they weren't my crying kids.

On the way, I called Nancy for an update on Eion's Kindergarten orientation. Apparently, all went well. He arrived decked out in his fedora and skipped up to his teacher and yelled, "Surprise!" E happily went to visit his classroom and then refused to leave. Nancy indulged him, they didn't have much on the agenda for the day, but finally made him go home when all the other kids had left. He told his teacher, "I'll see you on Tuesday!" Oh but doesn't she know it. At least he is excited. When E doesn't want to do something, his defiance level rises markedly. Maybe the whole Kindergarten thing will work out better than we think.

Anyhoo, Tim and I arrived at the resort and checked in. The city is beautiful as is the resort itself. Our room, not so much. It was a tiny thing with access from an outside hallway and contained a tv older than ours at home (that's really saying something since we have this crappy Ilo that isn't even a flat screen), a full size bed and a bathroom smaller than our kids' bathroom at home. Not a mini bar in sight. I told Tim I hated to be all diva, but at minimum, I was going to need a king size bed. I called the front desk where our main man Phillip, who apparently has completed extensive diva handling classes, told us it was our lucky day. New room: king size bed, private balcony, view of the harbor, and a mini bar. Much better.

We spent the afternoon walking along the waterfront and through the darling downtown. It was so flat we felt like we could walk forever. We had a great beer at the local microbrewery but thought their menu looked uninspired so we used the trip advisor app to find Bistro on Spruce which was exactly what we wanted. Tim saw a man dining there who he was just sure worked for Wine Spectator. Since we thought there was a chance we were in the presence of someone with superior wine knowledge, we just ordered what they had, a local Cabernet Frank. Well the guy wasn't from Wine Spectator but the owner of the vineyard happened to be at the next table! And the wine was great.

We had about a mile and a half walk home and even though it was only 9pm local time, I was ready to call it a day.

Whirlwind

2010-09-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

I actually had to go and read my own blog to find out the last time I posted something. Been just the teensiest bit busy around here. Some good, some bad and all forthcoming.....

Last weekend the kids and I headed up to Detroit for my Mom & Dad's 45th wedding anniversary party. This would be the first time I flew with all three kids on my own (Timmy had to work.) Overall, they were excellent little travellers. We didn't check any luggage (damned if I am paying $25 a bag) and they all wanted to help carry or roll a bag. I'm not sure how much the other passengers enjoyed us as we trended blocky and Eion soundtracked the entire flight to the Indiana Jones song, but I was thrilled. And he made some TSA agents' day when he was putting back on his shoes after clearing security and he remarked, "This is my favorite part of the airport!" I asked if they got that often. Not surprisingly, the answer was never before.

My brother was also at my parents' house - the first time we had all been together in two years. Sadly, his partner Chris couldn't make it but the kids (happily) settled for just Uncle Dominick. We had a great, busy weekend during which we caught up with my family, my brother in law and sister in law's family and some friends too. The kids hadn't seen their cousins in ages and were thrilled to do so.

They also delighted in continued and repeated assaults on Uncle Dominick, who they eventually made call for a cease fire, and stocking Opa's pond with goldfish & koi.

I'm not entirely sure, however, if the highlight of the fish experience wasn't when one escaped the Pet Smart worker's grasp and made an ill fated attempt at freedom.

Mom & Dad's basement was also a virtual treasure trove for the wee ones. They found all sorts of old toys they claimed as their own. Thank god we were flying so I had a perfect excuse not to bring it all back. Though I have a sneaking suspicion some of these prizes will be making their way to our house at Christmas.

Eion was also carrying out a one man mission against Dad's garden on many fronts. He rearranged the rocks by the stream. He flooded the pond with acorns. He used gnomes for batting practice. Last I heard, many have also "gone missing." This trip was extremely pricey in gnome replacement alone. But he was having a great time!

Saturday my parents had a party for their 45th wedding anniversary. Lots of relatives came from all parts of the midwest, some arriving early to set up the arch. For any milestone anniversary, the Dutch side of the family erects an arch which is decorated in greenery, flowers, and a sign feting the lucky couple. Since the support beams had to be driven 4 hours, it was a bit of a surprise that this one came through.

In addition to family, some friends from UofM also made it which was wonderful since the gap in get togethers can be measured in years - much too far apart. They had all experienced the Veldman chaos before and fit right in.

Eion was in true E form. I had regular report outs from other kids that he was using the outdoor stand up potty, in the front yard no less, and was intermittently pantsless. My favorite E moment was when he asked me if he could have an orange soda. As it was a party, I figured it was fine with me. Oma, however, didn't see it that way and took it away, leaving Eion devastated. My friend Olivia took matters in hand and snuck him the soda with which he immediately headed to an uninhabited corner of the house to enjoy. He later was coming in the garage to dispose of the evidence with the can behind his back and a bright orange ring around his mouth. He'll need to work on his technique.

As is always the case with a party like this, I felt like there wasn't enough time to talk to everyone for as long as I would have wanted. And the day went by too fast and we were headed back home to Virginia the next morning.

We only had a few days at home before Tim & I were flying to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Tim is attending a medical conference and I am just tagging along. When we planned this, we really didn't think things through. We are missing the end of the summer at the pool, school orientation and the first day of school. Ooops. You know, it didn't seem so ill advised in May when we planned it! Luckily, my in-laws have everything well in hand.

But as if things weren't stressful enough, two days before we were leaving, I accidentally ran over our cat, Midnight. You might remember her as the award winning kitty of last fall.

Not that I imagine mortally wounding your pet is ever fun, but this was truly awful. Morrigan and I were in the Wrangler with all the windows out when we backed up and heard "rrooowwrroroorww!" I had run her over. Tim took her to the vet hoping that maybe she just had a broken leg but her injuries were much more extensive. Surgery was not advised at that time and she was stable so a few hours (and $600) later, we had her at home and were hoping she would rally and recover. But within a day she began to refuse water and any other fluids, was ripping out her IV and was generally looking miserable. That night, she died in my arms. Nancy (my MIL), myself, and to my great surprise, Tim, were all in tears. Seriously, I have known him for 19 years and have NEVER seen him cry - except when we were watching Old School and that was kind of different. It was emotional. And then we got to relive the whole thing in the morning when the kids got up and we had to tell them.

Eion was the only one who seemed relatively unfazed. When our other cat tried to come inside (the kids are allergic so they are outdoor cats), he informed Jack, "You can't come in unless you are smooshed." At least he forgave me. The girls have reminded me several times that this is all my fault.

So after we break the news, we then have to leave them to attend their school orientations all red-eyed and miserable while we flew across the country. My guilt level is running at an all time high but I'm hoping I'll be forgiven by the time I get back.

Adventures in Kick Ass Parenting - Tuesday Edition

2010-08-24T19:10:00.000-04:00

So I'm cooking dinner and enjoying some relative peace this evening. When I'm done, I call the kids to the table and notice that something is amiss. No Eion. Now his failure to respond to the dinner call is generally to be expected since he "hates dinner," but I became a bit troubled when we couldn't find him anywhere, inside or out. One of the girls suggested he might be across the street. A quick phone call confirmed, yes, he was there and apparently had been for quite some time. Not that we noticed.

And then there's Maggie, who met her violin teacher today and came into possession of her new (rented) violin.

Which she has been "playing" all afternoon. No, she hasn't had a lesson yet, she's just free styling. At least now it is after 5pm and happy hour is on.

Did I Mention....

2010-08-23T08:38:00.000-04:00

how completely psyched I am that I negotiated a pay for no birthday party deal with the girls? I only bring it up because we were at one this afternoon that was hard to top.

We're talking waterslides and, more importantly, a petting zoo. There were rabbits, goats, ponies, llamas (or maybe alpacas?), guinea pigs, chickens and ducks. The kids were all over it. They loved petting and feeding the animals with the rabbits being especially popular, particularly when one got loose and they all tried to catch it.

Good news for moi, siblings were welcome so I was able to take the whole crew. The extensive bunny holding and petting did lead to more than one child begging for bunnies of their own. You know that is not happening around here. I did say maybe we could rent a goat to clear the field behind us but you would be surprised at the scarcity of goat rentals in this town.

Even after a full 2 1/2 hours + the kids were in near tears when we had to leave - though that might have been sugar overload. Good news was we had the Jeep so I just turned up the radio and we sang our way home.

And I have to give a shout out to the traveling petting zoo owner. If I were having a birthday party anytime soon, I would totally hire him. He told me he lost his job and decided to start his own business and based on the overwhelmingly positive response I saw this afternoon, I think he has an amazing service to offer. If you want more info, his name is Coy Shupe Jr. and his website is www.travelingpettingzoova.com.

Lucky, Lucky Timmy

2010-08-22T16:16:00.000-04:00

The timing for Tim couldn't have been better. Just the day before we left for the beach, our recent family pictures came in the mail. And thus, he was spared the annual beach photo session that, in spite of high hopes each and every year, is generally a disaster and garners no Christmas card worthy pictures anyway. Just consider it an early Christmas (or late anniversary) gift baby.

[Pictures courtesy of Candace Lucas]

The Beach

2010-08-21T19:53:00.000-04:00

You know, I took a laptop and a cable for the camera with every intention of regaling you with our days at the beach. Said laptop instead gathered dust. Fortunately, I did make use of the camera.

We (ourselves, Melanie, Jerry and all the kids) arrived at Hatteras Island after a 7 1/2 hour drive. Our house was not quite ready so we settled into the pier and promptly purchased some much needed adult beverages.

Luckily for us, the house was ready within an hour and we were able to start our week. When it comes to regaling, our week was blissfully boring. Lots of beach time:

Lots of pool time:

Minimal hot tub time as it developed a funk after a day or so:

And great big bunches of downtime. We did get out to see what I think is the only local sight, a lighthouse, and climbed all 250ish vertigo inducing stairs.

The kids were much more impressed with the souvenir shop than the attraction itself. Oh, and E got a new hat. Kindergarten picture, here we come!

Naturally, there was additional souvenir shopping as well adding to our family treasures a ring, some "fancy soap" and an eyepatch. Maybe I can get him to wear both for that picture...

As for the adults, we did some hard-core relaxing. Lots of grilling of fresh fish. Lots of hanging out. Mel & Tim ran most days while Jerry & I chose to have a few pops and justify our inactivity by calling this a week to "give our muscles a rest." Really, it's necessary!

Sadly, we came home today to face reality with a mountain of laundry, piles of emails, all seemingly about school starting, and some attention-starved cats. Can't wait for next year's trip....

Serenity Now

2010-08-12T21:09:00.000-04:00

Breathe in, breathe out. Envision your family at the beach. Try not to kill anyone before you get there.

We are T minus one day and counting to beach week at Hatteras with Jerry, Melanie et al. I managed to stave off packing until today when the kids finally wore me down. So I gave them what I found to be a manageable chore: pack your backpack. Minutes later, all three packs were stuffed with...

Morrigan: a dozen books, just as many stuffed animals, her wand from camp, a quill, and her charm bracelet

Maggie: six books, countless stuffed animals, her dsi

Eion: dsi, leather bomber jacket, whip, fedora, satchel

Clearly, we're going to have to repack these.

Then I told them they could have a plastic container with some toys for play after the beach or in case of rainy days. E decided to forgo the container and just handed me a full compliment of swords. The girls, on the other hand, spent an agonizingly long time selecting all manner of Littlest Pet Shop toys and accessories, one by one. Yeah, none of those are going to get lost.

Personally, I decided it was time to try out those pineapple martinis.

An Open Letter To Blue Ridge Outdoors

2010-08-12T20:53:00.000-04:00

To the staff and writers at Blue Ridge Outdoors:

In your recent article Tick Check, you wrote: "When it comes to ticks and my privates, I take a homophobic Republican approach: 'don't ask, don't tell,' " As a registered Republican, staunch Conservative and someone who voted against Virginia's gay marriage ban, I have to say your exceptionally judgemental and closed-minded statement is terribly offensive. In the future, you may want to consider refraining from stereotyping all members of a race, ideology or political affiliation with one broad stroke.

And as an aside, the "don't ask, don't tell" policy was instituted by none other than William Jefferson Clinton, a Democrat. I guess by your reasoning he's also a homophobe.

Hugs and kisses, Katie

It's Called Karma Son

2010-08-10T21:47:00.000-04:00

So in spite of the "no water guns" policy of the pool, kids have been bending the rule all summer bringing long, cylindrical water shooting devices that, while not gun shaped, meet with the same general result. As long as they are not pointed at me, I have no problem with them. Eion, wanting his own (last summer's has been long lost,) was badgering me to go to the store and purchase him one. Seeing as we had no fewer than a dozen water guns in the garage, I made the executive decision that if kids were going to wantonly bend this particular rule, I was ok with downright breaking it. Each child loaded up with two guns apiece and we were off.

Between their guns, other guns (I am apparently not the only one breaking the rules,) and the foam water shooters, a battle of epic proportions broke out. From my shaded, lounging perspective, it seemed to be going fairly well.

Round about 20 minutes later, a boy we know came over and informed me that Morrigan would not share with him or one other boy. What made her actions even more egregious was the fact that she would share with other kids. He then looked at me in a somewhat expectant manner, having pulled the she's-not-wiling-to-share card and waited smugly to be awarded his prize.

Now here is where I had a dilemma. For most kids, I would have agreed that she should share and told her to give up one gun. Ah but this boy and his friend were special. One had mercilessly picked on Morrigan throughout the year in Chess Club (saw it firsthand.) The other was so cruel to her at swim practice this summer that his own sibling intervened and told their Mother that she needed to stop him from being so ugly towards Morrigan. Hmmm. Yeah boys, you've got nothing coming from me.

So I told him it was her decision with whom she wanted to share. He looked at me as if I said the world was flat and reminded me that she was sharing with other kids and NOT HIM. Yeah, I told him, that's really a bummer. He stood, looking incredulous, for a few moments before giving up in utter disbelief that a grown up could possibly act so irrationally.

I'm not normally in the business of fighting my kids' battles but I thought here that this was a nice taste of karma for them. Morrigan had not asked for assistance, she had merely doled out her own brand of justice for their repeated misdeeds. I sure as hell wasn't going to punish her for it.

Homebound

2010-08-09T08:13:00.000-04:00

Morrigan is back home after finishing up he week at camp, albeit in a slightly limited capacity. They said they came up with special jobs for her when the physical activity was strenuous. I am 100% certain she didn't mind. As we know, she is kind of an indoor girl.

Maggie is thrilled to have her playmate back. I think she may have missed Morrigan more than anyone else. And now that she has her back, all she wants to do is play (indoors, of course.) Seriously, I can't get them to leave the house. I've restricted tv, computers and all electronics but still they want to hang around here.

Yesterday, we decided they could live like shut ins until they started to fight. Darned if they weren't good and self entertaining all day. I may never leave again.

Fortunately, we had a birthday party to attend on Friday at Valhalla Vineyards and friends coming over for Tim's barbecue on Saturday so I didn't have to go postal on anyone.

But I was getting stir crazy yesterday. I cleaned, did laundry, read, ironed, gardened and ventured into nature photography.

But today Tim goes back to work and I NEED to get out of this house. Sorry kids, no matter how well behaved you've been, we're getting out today.

Like a Ballerina

2010-08-04T18:38:00.000-04:00

Life is indeed keeping me on my toes. Last night I was happily watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, excellent movie by the way, when the phone rings at 10pm. Now, I don't tend to answer the phone for unknown numbers during the day and I sure as hell don't at night. I figure if it is important, they'll leave a message. I figured wrong as it was camp calling. They didn't leave a message but then called Tim's cell letting him know that Morrigan had accidentally stabbed herself with her wand and was in need of stitches.

As Tim was already conveniently located in the ER, I had two choices: 1) send an ambulance for Morrigan or 2) wake up the other minions and go and get her. I thought the EMS was overkill and woke Maggie & E. Poor E was so tired that every time I set him down he tried to crawl back in bed. But we made it to "Hogwarts," which was fortunately only about 15 minutes away. Morrigan was crying and terrified that she would need a shot. Not knowing what would happen, I generically tried to reassure her.

When we arrived at the ER, I was thrilled to see our babysitter from a few years back, Arlene, (she left us when she had grand kids. Traitor.) who immediately got us settled and found Tim. Even better than Tim being there, Melanie was the Peds ER doc for the night.

And they were able to stitch her up using numbing medicine that did not require a shot. She was a pretty happy patient. Mel told me she had some students observing the procedure who she overheard later saying, "Can you believe that kid is eight? She is so smart!" Well, not smart enough not to stab herself...

I kept her home from camp today to see how things would go. While she can't swim and is in some pain, she desperately wanted to go back.

So after dinner we took her back to camp. What is the most amazing thing here for me is that our first ER visit since we had kids is for Morrigan. I mean, Eion I could see. At least she is taking it in stride. Her commentary as we left the ER was, "Now I have a scar like Mommy." Yes indeed.

God Bless Photoshop

2010-08-03T21:37:00.001-04:00

I was looking through the pictures from our family photo shoot and quickly had a favorite group shot only to look closely and see that a mosquito was biting Tim's right cheek.

Seriously, what are the odds? I don't know, considering I have about a bazillion bites on my legs from that morning, maybe they are pretty good! After I overcame Tim's assertions that it should be our Christmas card as is, that would be very funny, right, I called the photographer who assured me it could be photoshopped out.

Et voila...

Tim had the silly idea that this picture, secured as a holiday card, would release him from the annual beach photo shoot. Now that's funny!

Loved our photographer (who was also Eion's preschool teacher!) especially since she gave me copies of before and after. If you're local, her name is Candace Lucas and her site is www.candacephoto.jalbum.net.

PS The resolution on the web is making the boys' suits look funky! In real life they are seersucker rather than psychedelic.

You Will Swim and You'll Be Happy Damn It

2010-08-03T21:17:00.000-04:00

So it's about 2pm and Maggie and Eion seem to want to settle in to an afternoon of tv. While I was happy to let them watch a show while I ordered pictures from the family photo session last week, it was way too early to give in to the electronics, even if Tim was working. I suggested the pool. Would have thought I said "how's about we eat liver and onions?" But when faced with the option of a tv, dsi and computer free afternoon, they came around quite nicely and bent to my will. Jeesh. I shouldn't have to browbeat my kids to go to the pool.

Now you know once they were there they had a ball and resisted all efforts to later extract them as we approached closing time and had passed bedtime.

E was in form flirting with the lifeguards and chatting up other parents. He told our friend Pete, "This year, I'm going to kindergarten and you know what comes after that, college. But I'm not going to college. I'm going to be a lifeguard." Maggie was alarmed that he would consider skipping higher education. I told her it was ok. If he didn't use his college savings, we could pay for her Vet training. That was about all it took for her to be at peace with his decision.

A Village Indeed

2010-08-02T20:16:00.001-04:00

I think it was Hillary Clinton who coined the "it takes a village" thing in terms of child rearing and certainly it is the case when it comes to the boy. But before we get there, let's start with Sunday morning....

At 10am sharp (or 10 minutes early, do hate to be late) we arrived to drop Morrigan off at Hogwarts Camp, where she will spend the next week engrossed in wands, wizardry and Harry Potter lore. Now, I don't want to come off as too judgemental here so it is very important that you realize that I wear the title Her Highness Queen of the Nerds with great and unabashed pride when I say that the vast majority of attendees and counsellors appear to be mega nerds or, you might say, my subjects. The kids in line debated the pros and cons of the different houses. The "wizard teachers" played with juggling sticks. I can't be sure, but if it were 15 odd years ago, the lot of them would have been selling grilled cheese in the parking lot of a Dead show. The comforting fact about the whole scene was that Morrigan was in her element. She is going to have a kick ass week.

Later in the day I was scheduled to attend baby shower. Tim was working and my babysitter had cancelled. I called every teenager I could think of and couldn't find a replacement. [By the by, if you are a reader and parent of local teenagers I don't employ, you should really have them give me a call.] The hostesses of the shower ever so graciously, and bravely I might add, said I could bring Maggie and E and park them in the basement.

Did I mention brave? But to the surprise of the entire Valley, they stayed in the basement and caused zero problems. Several attendees remarked they forgot they were even there. Thank heaven for small miracles.

So that was part one of my village for the day. When we returned home, I realized that I could simply no longer put off weeding. For weeks (months?) I had been slacking with the excuse that it was simply too hot. With the weekend cold wave, I had to admit the only thing keeping me from the yard was sheer laziness. As I pulled the prehistoric size weeds (bonus of living on a cul de sac, not many people drive by to see the embarrassing nature of your flower beds) I heard Eion at the neighbors yelling, "I know you're in there! Let me in!" I hollered up that if they weren't answering, they were most likely otherwise engaged. But he was relentless, and, like a member of Future Stalkers of America, kept banging on the door until they relented. Thanks village part two. (Jen did tell me later their bell is not working so they didn't know he was out there at first.)

No surprise he was going to camp today! Maggie and I had a girls day, meeting up with Melanie to get pedicures and then eating lunch out. She was a doll all day. And it was so sweet that she told me that she really missed Morrigan and was so lonely without her. In an either awesome or sad way, I don't think she misses us one bit.

Adventures in Kick Ass Parenting

2010-07-31T20:01:00.000-04:00

So in preparation for the beach, I needed to make some pineapple martinis. They are the recipe of a local steakhouse, Frankie Rowland's, and take about a week to brew up. Tim was working, it was raining and I decided we should get something done, namely, shop for liquor. Loaded up the crew and headed out to the ABC store where, upon entry, I promptly ran into a neighbor. Off to a good start.

Then as we were heading up to the register, an employee gave each of the kids their very own miniature Crown Royal bag. Morrigan immediately declared hers would be going to camp with her. Excellent.

As we checked out, E told me I should purchase the liquor in the skull bottle because it was "very cool." Maggie, speaking before I could, told him, "That's vodka and she doesn't need it. She just bought a huge bottle of vodka." Successful trip, wouldn't you say?

For all those interested in the fate of the huge bottle of vodka.....

Pineapple Martinis
Cut up one fresh pineapple and place in a seal able jug. Cover with vodka. Allow to set for at least a week. Then mash down the pineapple with a potato masher. Strain and transfer into a bottle. Keep refrigerated. To serve, shake with ice, strain and enjoy. (For the faint of heart you can add in a little pineapple juice.)

That Will Teach Me

2010-07-31T08:43:00.000-04:00

I should be smarter. But weeks of sunny, hot weather had me spoiled and I just assumed that today would be a lovely day for the pool. BAD assumption as it is cold and rainy. And Tim just went back to work for a five day stretch. Ouch.

Should have gone to the pool yesterday when the weather was perfect. We had family pictures taken yesterday and had nothing on deck for the first part of the afternoon. But the kids weren't dying to go and I, thinking that today would be a full day at the pool, didn't press the issue.

The aforementioned family photo prompted a flurry of haircuts. I took all the kids to see Kara at St. Pierre's in Salem and, as ever, the results were fantastic.

I should have considered having her come over to style everyone the next day as I struggled with the flat iron. But I think I did ok. You can be the judge as we should have pictures from the shoot soon. Overall everyone behaved and cooperated, even Tim, though Eion's smile looked perpetually pained. But it has to be an improvement over this session:

Where there was no smiling at all. My attitude towards family pictures has always been that they are unlikely to be perfect but they will capture the moment. And for Eion, that moment was pained. Tim said he understood - he felt just like E looked. Pained or not, they all knew there was no fighting me on this.

We had dinner at Melanie & Jerry's. The girls immediately took to "babysitting" Summer.

Maggie quickly moved on but the nice surprise was that Morrigan didn't tire of it and spent a good part of the evening playing with her.

This bodes well for our week at the beach. She seems to be willing to work for free too! Seeing them together made me realize just how big the girls are getting. Granted, they are about to turn 7 & 9 so it shouldn't be a surprise but it really seems like just the other day that they were crawling around. Can we be cliche here and say they grow up too fast?

Anyway, I guess the rainy day will leave us plenty of time to finish packing for Morrigan's week at camp. There was a near crisis yesterday as she realized her "Team Edward" t-shirt was dirty and she couldn't include it in her trunk. I promised I could remedy the situation with a load of laundry.

With Plan A thwarted, it is on to Plan B: the gym.

Big Bacon Adventures

2010-07-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

The kiddos went to two days of camp at the Club this week. They had a plan where you could purchase 15 days and use them as you like. Other than one unfortunate day involving some name calling and running away (EION,) it was largely well received by Maggie & Eion. But Sunday I realized the camp ended in two weeks and we were still in possession of eight days, pre-paid days. Tuesday being a good day for me to play tennis, I determined they all should go. This was met with much moaning and groaning from Morrigan who claimed it was a "baby camp" and she was going to be "so miserable." Flash forward to pick up where all three were happy as could be and insisting they should go back the next day. Done I say!

Really, I'm going somewhere with this, kind of. Anyhoo, in the car on the way to camp, the kids were amazed that it was almost August. I agreed that Summer was going by at an unprecedented rate. Maggie's determination was that "We have so much fun everyday that it it flying by!" I am really hoping that if they are having so much fun that I can cut back on the game playing. Theoretically, I am not against games. But it is tough when this is what your kids pick, day after day.

This Candyland of processed meat was a gift from Ann and Hans that I honestly had no intention of opening. The thought was good, we are well known lovers of bacon, but it was a gag gift. The kids had other plans. And love it.

I wouldn't mind if they played on their own but no, it seems to be the best when I play. Just this afternoon I agreed to play a few rounds with Maggie, which, incidentally, can go on for a really long time, I think it is part of the sick humor of the creators. Morrigan, who was moments before too busy packing for camp (we'll get back to it,) came down to join the fun. I lasted through three games before I fled under the guise of folding laundry. I do love that the game's penalty zone is Vegan Alley, "a dark and dangerous place where veggie burgers look like beef jerky and tofu looks like olive loaf." Game is available for the borrowing. Or having!

Can't be too upset, I suppose, that Morrigan's packing was derailed. She's going to a Hogwarts-themed Girl Scout sleep away camp on Sunday. And since I will have to repack everything, I don't mind she didn't get too far without me. Her excitement level is off the charts. Seriously, this camp is right in her geeky wheelhouse. Maggie is just happy to have the room to herself and a few days with just me as E uses up the remaining prepaid days at camp. Let's hope I can find some non-bacon activities for said days.

Swim Team Banquet

2010-07-27T14:29:00.000-04:00

Definition: a banquet in which my kids have next to no interest.

Now we did have allot of hype leading up to said banquet involving much agonizing over what outfits to wear and tears when a certain someone found she had outgrown her white dress shoes but the actual event, not so much.

We did have limited rapt attention, right up until City County ribbons were located and trophies received.

Then they were out of there, off to roam the halls of the Club. Maggie wasn't even too too put out by the fact that her ribbon for backstroke was nowhere to be found. The thrill it seems, is gone. I did have a sweet Mom offer to give us one of her family's ribbons for Maggie, though I did point out that they, being quite the swimming family, would be unlikely to have a 6th place, even in the gold time category.

But in the weirdest of ways, our team coming in 2nd place at City County and for the season seems to have renewed their interest in actually swimming. I heard them this morning plotting about away Winter swim meets. I had previously told Morrigan she could practice this Fall and not compete if she wanted and she was thrilled at the prospect. When I mentioned this to her yesterday, she said, "Well maybe I'll compete for one more year. They need bronze swimmers too." I should have recorded it so I could play it back when she complains about practice!

I Don't Really Know Any Croquet Terms So It Is Tough To Have A Clever Title

2010-07-25T13:52:00.000-04:00

I was especially glad we were home early from City County so I had a chance to rest up before heading over to Kate & Rob's for a croquet party! It was about a hundred degrees in the shade but we didn't let that stand in our way.

What did stand in the way of my partner and myself doing well were the two bourbon slushes I had before the game. Though I may well have been just as inept at the game either way.

After our defeat, I relocated to enjoy the cool indoors. Kate made an excellent dinner which was coupled with great conversation. (Though that conversation did include more references to adults swimming next year. Yipes!) And I wisely steered clear of any additional bourbon slushes.

City County Day Two: Better Depending on Your Perspective

2010-07-25T13:33:00.000-04:00

Morrigan rallied from her tears on Friday to return to the City County swim meet in good spirits. Butterfly, her favorite, was first up. She placed 10th in the bronze division which meant 11 points and, most importantly, garnered her a ribbon, her first for City County.

Maggie also swam the butterfly though she had the misfortune of having a strokes and turns judge who thought she was officiating for the Olympics and disqualified her and two other RCC swimmers in the event, all of whom have swam many, many legal butterfly races. I doubt she is a reader but just in case she is, I need to address her directly.

Lady, I went back and watched a video a friend took of this race. I don't see how you knocked all these girls out. (By the by, Tim, who has a little more authority on this matter than me, agrees.) So for the sake of not crushing the spirit of 4, 5, and 6 year olds, I need to recommend that you dial it back a few notches. Certainly, I don't think you abandon all the rules just because these girls are young but this is not the freaking Olympics you Nazi judge.

Phew, I feel a little better. Luckily, Maggie took it extremely well. Morrigan also swam the breaststroke and placed 13th bronze earning some additional points. She felt like she contributed and also was, naturally, happy that she earned more points than her sister for the day.

As neither girl was swimming the long fee, we were out of there by 9:30! And everyone left happy.

I wish I could explain to the girls that some of my proudest moments weren't necessarily just the ones where they earned the best times. I still remember Morrigan's first race last year where she was swimming a 25 Free. She was so slow, might have taken 50 seconds or more, that they almost started the next heat while she was still in the water. But when she made it to the end of the lane, she climbed out and asked Kirsten, "Did I win?" Not wanting to be too brutally honest, Kirsten told her, "You did great!" And then she came running over to me, smiling ear to ear and cried out, "I did it! I swam 25 yards!"

Maggie had some real race anxiety this winter and refused to get in the water many times over. Finally, after bailing on several heats, she managed to dive in and swim. Sadly, it was butterfly and she was no where near legal. But she swam. As she was grinning and rushing over to me, her coach frantically told me, "Don't tell her she was DQed!" knowing that we shouldn't wreck the moment. But Maggie was happy, she had overcome that paralyzing fear and raced.

These were times my heart felt so full I thought it might burst. So I hope they will know that while I am happy when they score well, what I want more is for them to achieve the goals they set and be happy with their performance.

And in spite of tears this weekend, they are already talking about next year when they think the whole family should swim. God help me.

City County Swim Meet: The Good, The Bad and Nothing In Between

2010-07-23T18:09:00.000-04:00

Ever the roller coaster, it was the last swim meet of the Summer: City County. We headed out at an unreasonably early hour to join the controlled chaos. Not making many of the rookie mistakes of swim meets past, I remembered all vital gear including: chairs, towels (one for each event,) pen, highlighter, sharpie, water, food, money and several time killing electronic devices. I even have the lingo down, asking how much a heat sheet was as opposed to calling it "that book thing" which drew mockery from swim vets last year. But on to the actual events.

For Maggie, it was all good.

In the 25 Backstroke, she placed 6th gold garnering the team 55 points. In the 25 Free she placed 7th silver for an additional 34 points. The points awarded are higher at this meet than the weekly ones and she was (rightly) pretty pleased with herself. As the first ten places in each time category get ribbons, she'll have those waiting for her at the awards banquet too.

Morrigan had a tough day.

I have to preface that I was proud of her. She just wasn't so happy with herself. She was 13th bronze in the 25 Backstroke. Eight points, no ribbons. She is finally in silver times for freestyle but was number 38 in that category. No points, no ribbons. And it was round about when she saw her second time that she noticed her sister's performance which didn't help matters. Then the 100IM. Three seconds into the race, disqualified. One of her coaches didn't think she had been disqualified so we waited to see the results that were, in the end, heartbreaking for Morrigan.

She cried all the way home, intermittently ranting about how unfair it was that her sister got silver and gold times, ribbons and more points. Naturally I countered with the fact that it just was and she couldn't get mad at her sister for doing well. And added that every point counted and I was proud of her improved times. I might as well have been speaking Chinese.

It kind of sucked. Morrigan was inconsolable and I had to severely temper any enthusiasm towards Maggie so as not to make it worse. [Don't worry, she got big hugs and cheers when we were alone.] Tomorrow we are back at it for Butterfly and Breaststroke. After which, Morrigan announced, she is retiring from competition. I'm hoping she'll have a good last day. On the plus side, for Morrigan anyway, Maggie is only swimming butterfly and is slower at that stroke so she might not outperform her sister. I'm just hoping she can place in one event so we don't have to cry all the way home tomorrow.

Art Camp

2010-07-20T17:13:00.000-04:00

Ah but wait you say, that is not a picture of Art Camp at all! True, but I really like pictures with my posts and I didn't have the foresight to take one today at pick up. So we'll all pretend they are not at the pool and I'll remember my camera tomorrow. Deal?

When I picked them up I asked what they did at camp and the immediate reply was "Things you won't let us do at home!" Based on the plaster mess yesterday and today's high volume of non-washable paint, I'd say they were dead on.

Just in Case You're Wondering Where She Stands...

2010-07-19T19:58:00.001-04:00

The girls are going to a half day art camp this week that my friend Amy brought to our attention. Naturally, we are carpooling as well. As I sent the girls out to her car this morning, I was this close to reminding them not to talk politics. Like so many of my friends, as I attract liberals like moths to flame, Amy and I tend to be on opposite sides of the political fence. And being the completely reasonable right-wing extremist I am, I've found that there are topics, well topic, politics, that we're just better off leaving to the sideline.

Anyhoo, I got a call not too long after Amy dropped them off and wouldn't you know that politics came up not a half damn mile from our house. Something like this:

Morrigan: Are you liberal?
Amy: Well, yes, I think I generally am.
Morrigan: Well then our neighbor won't let you pick apples from his tree. It's for conservatives only. [Said neighbor is a fairly conservative guy and once made some negative remarks about a neighbor's yard sign for a Democrat candidate.]
Megan: What's a liberal?
Morrigan: Liberals are evil.

Motherf*cker.

At which point Amy, rightfully so, shut down the conversation. Now, Amy knows me well enough to know that I'm not teaching my kids to say things like that. Regardless, I apologized profusely. And certainly, I was glad to know Morrigan did say it so we could have another talk about how what we disagree with the left's ideas and by the way quit name calling dammit.

Morrigan was nonplussed. Her reaction to my telling her not to say liberals are evil was, "Well, they are."

Again, motherf*cker.

Insert here a LONG conversation about ideas versus slander and name calling and an eventual detente with agreements not to call anyone evil and to refrain from political discussions in general unless cleared in advance by me.

Ever trying to escape blame, Morrigan threw in at the end that it was Maggie who brought up the topic. I commented that didn't jive with the story I heard and asked Mags what she said. Maggie replied, "I invited Megan to pick apples once they were ripe." Clearly, Maggie was the instigator!

Maybe they can talk about religion tomorrow. Or abortion. Or flag burning. We've got three more days of camp. There have to be enough volatile topics for the remaining carpool rides.

Great Wolf Lodge

2010-07-17T17:04:00.000-04:00

One of the benefits for the kids to being on swim team is the annual team trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. Last year I didn't dare go as Tim was working and we only had one truly water-safe child. Seeing as both girls are now better swimmers than me and Eion can (kind of) swim, I was out of excuses so we went.

And it didn't disappoint. The girls were able to ride all the rides, even the Howlin' Tornado, and E could ride everything but that, so we were going non-stop.

We had one small incident when Eion was on this:

Apparently, he fell off and the lifeguards felt he was struggling and jumped in to "save" him. When they asked him to take them to his Mom, he bolted, yelling, "I'm a good swimmer!" Eventually they found me and said that he would have to wear a lifejacket for the duration of our visit and be with me the whole time. These people were clearly not familiar with my parenting style. We put a jacket on for show, removing it as soon as said over-reacting pool enforcer was out of sight. I just told E to stay out of that pool unless he was with me. Worked out just fine, thankyouverymuch.

We had a Kid Kamp room, about which they were very excited. After a long day, we were all out in no time flat.

Next day was more water fun. I had, foolishly, made a promise that we could go to the gift shop. The girls said they wanted charms for their bracelets. This was reasonable. What they went after when no charm was available was not. Eion asked for the first thing he saw, a shirt. Saving me the trouble, the girls shut him down reminding him, "The only thing we are allowed to represent for is the Club." Then the lot of them proceeded to ask for all manner of crap including $7 silly bands which are identical to the $2 silly bands at our local 7-11. Simply unable to stomach shelling out $20+ for items likely to end up in the garbage within a few weeks, I hauled them out empty handed.

As luck would have it, there was little resistance.

Last Swim Meet Monday

2010-07-13T07:58:00.000-04:00

Last night was the final Monday meet of the Summer season and the last night to qualify for a CIty-County event. It was Butterfly and Backstroke all around.

Morrigan placed 2nd bronze for both. We were hoping her love of Butterfly might pull her into silver but no such luck. But you could tell it was her favorite stroke as she (seriously) smiled all the way down. Her breathing and efficiency might improve with a less jovial stroke but she looked so darn happy that I wouldn't even recommend it.

Maggie won 1st silver for Butterfly, cutting 8 1/2 seconds off her time, and 2nd silver for Backstroke, adding 5 seconds. Her Backstroke had a very serpentine quality to it last night which baffled me. The last time she swam this race, she was straight as an arrow and beautiful form. Last night she couldn't go 3 strokes without hitting a lane line. Tim, a more experienced swimmer than I, really, who isn't, said that once you go on tilt it is just hard to straighten out and you can keep over-correcting. But she still did great. And she was very pleased that she earned more than twice as many points for the team as her sister.

At the end of the meet they had the "open" events where you could qualify for an event for which you had previously been DQed. Morrigan was determined to complete the 100IM. I was more than a little worried when I saw our friend Cindy, who was timing in her lane, going over the order of the strokes with her, repeatedly, before the race. But my fears were unfounded and she did great. A roar of applause and cheers broke out when she did her two hand touch after the Breaststroke (which was what knocked her out last week.) I have no idea what her time was. I do know that she set herself a goal, achieved it and was mighty proud of herself. Rightfully so.

The Summer season has been pretty good for the girls. Maggie, having made massive strides, is all about Winter swim team. Eion, wanting to be like his sisters, can't wait to join this Fall as well.

Morrigan, in spite of continued improvement, didn't meet with the success her sister did. She wanted to quit. Now, I don't want to make the kids do things they hate but if I let her quit, she will do ZERO physical activity and just curl up with books all day long. I understand where she's coming from because I was that girl. But having moved on from being that girl, I know her life will be vastly improved if she stays physically active and I don't want her to wait as long as I did to find that out. So I sold my soul to the Devil. I promised Morrigan that if she continued to practice with swim team (no meets required after City-County,) I would take swim lessons and get legal in all four strokes. The prospect of my humiliation seemed to be enough so we have a deal, albeit a terrifying deal for me.

Rinse and Repeat

2010-07-12T15:55:00.000-04:00

I know I get a little lax in the Summer about posting. It's a fine line. I can post all the time but I have this feeling that the storyline, "And we went to the pool again" would tire quickly. In the end, most of my Summer posts are just that anyway, only lest frequent.

That being said, while Tim enjoyed the hospital, the kids and I spent the majority of our weekend at the pool.

When Morrigan wasn't in the pool, she was tearing through the Twilight series. She finished all four books in five days. As I was re-reading them to ensure they were acceptable for almost nine year old consumption, her pace overtook me. I finally gave up trying to re-read the whole series and skipped to the last book which I remembered, correctly, was the one that has the most mature content.

**Spoiler Alert** If you have not read the books and are planning to, I am going to spoil the ending right now. So these books were written by a woman who is a Mormon and the raciest thing happening before the final book is smoldering looks and kissing, which isn't even French kissing. But in the last book, Bella marries her vampire love, Edward (which was good news for Morrigan who declared herself Team Edward early on) and they went on a honeymoon. Now their marriage consummation was (in the words of an Entertainment Weekly reviewer) written "with the decorum of a Victorian schoolmistress." Seeing as we previously had discussed that "rolling around naked with boys" leads to pregnancy, I thought we were in reasonable waters. Though I could tell when she reached that section of the book seeing as there was endless giggling.

In the end, her favorite part was the birth of the vampire-human baby, complete with vampire teeth aided c-section. Taking after her mother's love of horror I suppose.

Sunday, the kids boycotted the pool which was ok by me. I cleaned the house, ironed, caught up on the kids' scrapbooks, did laundry and watched the devastating World Cup Finals. Hmm, that story really isn't much more interesting than the we went to the pool one. I'm going to need some new material.

15 Years

2010-07-08T16:06:00.001-04:00

Do you remember when you were a kid and every month seemed like forever? The space between birthdays and holidays stretched out endlessly. Well then all of a sudden time sped up. There you are, 23 and getting married. The next thing you know, it is your 15th anniversary. Happily for me, I remembered this one as I forgot the 10th (until Tim reminded me.)

When we got married, we were young and broke. Tim was still in residency and I worked at a bank making next to nothing. The wedding, as a by product of our poverty, was largely a home made affair.

My Mom & I spent the winter making table arrangements and doing anything we could in advance. Tim & I had booked the reception at a new place that had yet to get its liquor license so we were allowed to bring in our own. Which led to a more than fun alcohol shopping trip with my Dad in Indiana (cheaper liquor taxes.)

We lacked funds for a "real" photographer, so I paid my brother's friend a few hundred bucks to take pictures with my camera. In the days before digital, this was a seriously risky proposition. But I can't say that I regret it.

And it was one heck of a party.

(Yes, that's Tim, damn near catching the bouquet.) As I am sure is the case with all brides, the night went by in a flash. And we were lucky enough to have sweet friends who saved us from spending our wedding night in our newly-rented apartment by booking us a hotel room. (We were really, really broke.)

While I may have had an amateur photographer, a DJ rather than a band, buffet rather than sit down, and homemade centerpieces, I didn't skimp on the really important thing. I married a husband who is priceless. And I've lived happily ever after since.

Bittersweet

2010-07-07T08:20:00.000-04:00

Swim meet Monday was swim meet Tuesday this week as Monday was a holiday. We were at our biggest "rivals," Hunting Hills CC. I have to qualify rivals since I find it very hard to get worked up over a competition against a Club where I am friends with as many people as I am at my own. But it does make for a great evening catching up with all the people you haven't seen much of since school got out.

For team McK, it was a roller coaster ride. First came the highs.

Morrigan, for the first time ever, swam a 25 Free and got a silver time. Granted, it was an eighth place silver, does not garner a ribbon, and gained zero points for the team but she finally busted out of bronze. She looked so happy.

Next up was Maggie-pie who swam her 25 Free to a 4th place gold! While she was a twee bit bent to be in 4th again, she seemed placated by the fact that she earned a ton of points.

So far, all smiles. Except for possibly the boy,

who wanted to leave since he peed his pants. Sorry son. Tonight, you get to learn about public shame.

And then it all went to hell.

Morrigan was swimming the 100IM (25 Butterfly, 25 Back, 25 Breast, 25 Free.) This is seriously something I think I could never do. And she looked good. And she wasn't in last place. And legal. Right up until she did a one hand touch for the breaststroke. DQed. While I was still thrilled with the fact that she finished, she was devastated, crying under her towel for at least a half hour. She eventually rallied, but it ruined her night. On the plus side, she is determined to do it next week so she can swim the event at City-County.

Next up for heartbreak, Maggie.

Last night was her final chance to qualify for breaststroke for City-County. (Three DQs and you are out.) And she was out almost immediately. When she got out of the water, the sweet judge very gently told her what she did wrong. Apparently not trusting the judge, she turns to me and asks "Was I legal?" forcing me to deliver the bad news.

I felt a little like that too Maggie.

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-05T17:25:00.000-04:00

Alright, I am a day late but let's not pick nits. Tim & I were busy this weekend with poker (we lost) on Friday and dinner and a movie with friends on Saturday. Having logged allot of pool time last week, we took Saturday off, after swim practice, and laid low at home. But Sunday, we were ready to go. Roanoke was blessed with great weather and we were early arrivals at the Club for the party.

The kids swam for nearly six hours straight before we dragged them out, knowing we needed down time before the fireworks. Diving was especially popular. That and going to the bottom of the deep end to retrieve toys. Maggie must have dove down there 50 times yesterday.

As luck would have it, a really great spot to watch the fireworks is right up the street from us. It's a little different as you are above many of the fireworks but a great view anyhow. Ann & Hans came up with their out of town guests and we set off down the block. The prime spot is located right by two neighbors with whom we are friendly and they invited us up directly. And the best part? When it was all over, no crowds. We just walked five minuted home. It was a happy 4th.

PS To the City of Roanoke: While I greatly enjoyed the display, I have to wonder why the meals tax had to be increased to pay for education yet we still had the funds for such a show. I think the convention centers, restaurants and their patrons might have found a decreased fireworks display a better option than cutting education or raising taxes. Just sayin'.....

Ride On

2010-07-03T15:04:00.000-04:00

The last day of horseback riding camp there is always a horse show in which the kids are judged on what they learned during the week. And while it may make me a very bad Mommy, I would rather be just about anywhere but there. It's nothing personal to my sweet girl, but I am not at all a horse person and I find the whole exercise painful.

But you can see from the photographic evidence that I did indeed go. (Evidence from recently returned, repaired camera. Hooray!) I knew it was going to be a "fun" morning when I looked at the program and Morrigan was dead last in the lineup. So it only took about 2 hours of sitting on the ground watching other people's kids before she was up. I really have to remember a chair if Morrigan goes back next year. And a big thanks to the people who remembered their chairs but opted to take the bench instead, leaving their chairs folded and rested against the back of the bench.

While they said upfront that not every kid would get a first place ribbon, they went out and gave 95% of them first place.

Including my own daughter, whose horse took a detour and nibbled on some flowers in the middle of her judging. Again, not a horse person, but I am pretty sure that isn't what is supposed to happen.

The kids got to choose their own competition level. Morrigan chose Walk on a Rail which was surprising since the prior year she was several levels up, Walking, Trotting and Cantor on Lunge. Clearly, the camp fee was money well spent. But on the bright side, she had lots of fun. And I my guilt about not letting her ride year round was assuaged. She was so enthusiastic last year that I thought we might have found "her sport." The massive expense and inconvenience of said sport was an insurmountable obstacle but I still felt bad about denying her an athletic endeavor at which she might excel. Seems success at this sport is about on par with other sports we've tried. So that's good, right?

For Love of Camp

2010-07-01T19:36:00.000-04:00

Before I get rolling here, seriously, how cute are they? Maggie was dressed first and Eion chose a red shirt and green hat to match her. They were off to another day of camp at the Club. Eion was in tears Wednesday because I hadn't signed them up for that day. This is infinitely better than last year when I would pick E up from camp and they would tell me how very bad he was and he would tell me how very much he hated it. Now I think he would be there every day if we could afford it!

And your truly is eternally grateful that I will not have to take the summer off from tennis. As an added bonus, they generally drive by the tennis courts in a golf cart at some point while I am playing. Looking very, very happy!

After 7 1/2 hours there and then swim team practice, we are by and large, left with this:

But by the next morning, they are ready to get after it again. Tomorrow is the show at horseback riding camp and Maggie & E will be tie dyeing. I originally hadn't signed them up for Friday but missing the dye fest was, I am told, completely unacceptable.

And on a mostly unrelated note, the boy seems determined to be on swim team. He found out today it was too late to join summer team. "But I can almost swim 25 meters" he cried. And he was soothed by the fact that he could swim on the winter swim team. Wonders seriously never cease.

Golden Girl

2010-06-29T20:34:00.000-04:00

Just in case any of the rest of you haven't noticed, it is almost JULY! While we did front load a bit with camps, the summer is passing at a completely unbelievable rate.

Tim's parents came to visit last week and were looking at a lake place. No amount of wine or iron clad logic, like you will get to see us all the time, seemed enough. Sadly, it was not the right fit. But we were happy for the unexpected visit.

They got to spend some time with E while the girls were at camp. The perfect storm of increased verbal skills and no competition for airtime meant they got to have a lot of conversation as well. They were pretty sure that over those days they heard him speak more than they had in the previous five years combined. It appears all those years of sullen silence were actually spent hoarding discussion, or lecture, topics.

The girls came home from camp on Saturday and got some grandparent time too. By all reports, camp was a bang up success. Maggie, in spite of being the youngest at camp, was the only one not homesick in her tent. The counsellors said they were "good sisters" - able to be at activities together without fighting but able to operate independently as well. I was told that my letters lacked originality, all saying we were playing tennis and going to the pool. My assertion that it was the truth was met with scepticism. Well written lies, we have learned, are preferable. Maggie also said she answered all my questions:

Maggie: Yes. Yes. Swimming. A little bit. No.

Glad we cleared that up. They had a ball and didn't stop talking about it for days. Literally. E's run as master of the house and conversation were through.

Last night was Swim Meet Monday. Seeing as we hadn't been to a practice all week, we were not expecting great things.

Morrigan was determined to make silver times. She didn't. I tried to (gently) tell her that the only way to improve was to work at it, not just wish for it to be. She glared at me and stalked off muttering something along the lines of "stupid bronze times."

And what really didn't make her feel better was her little sister swimming the 25M backstroke to a gold time. 4th place gold, but gold none the less. A family first. Maggie was very excited but I will give her absolute props for showing restraint and not celebrating too much in front of her sister. Her coach is already plotting how Maggie can join the other gold swimmers and sweep the category at City-County in July.

Morrigan is at horseback riding camp this week. It is far, far away and generally a pain in the ass but this one week in the summer is my concession since we are too cheap for riding lessons year-round. After that, we have an absolute dearth of camps which suits me just fine.

Mail Call

2010-06-24T14:50:00.000-04:00

Bound to Happen Eventually

2010-06-24T14:02:00.000-04:00

Unprecedented good behavior can't go on forever. It was just a matter of time. When I picked up Eion at camp yesterday, the tennis pro told me that they had a small problem with E repeatedly pulling down his pants in the golf shop. When I questioned him as to why on earth he would do this, he told me "Hayden told me to" as if this was iron clad logic. We're hoping today is a better day.

By all accounts, the girls are having fun at camp. The pictures online have them looking happy. We received letters from them both. Mags' was short but sweet, signed with "XOXO."

Morrigan told us what she was doing and then added that her sister was not homesick. While I am thrilled they are having a good time, I kind of hope they don't have so much fun that they want to go for three weeks next year!

I'm Feeling Naked

2010-06-21T18:57:00.000-04:00

As I am sure is apparent to anyone who knows me, I am a bit of a shutterbug. And today, I had to send my beloved Canon 20D, which has served me well for almost six years now, in for service. The focus seems off and I kept ending up with out of focus pics. In spite of Tim's suggestion that it might be operator error, I sent it in for servicing. I feel a little lost without it, like a kid without her lovey. Here's to hoping it is back soon.

Eion is thoroughly enjoying his stint as an only child. He came bounding into our room this morning at 7:30 looking as happy as a little boy can get. When I mentioned it to him, he said "There are no sisters!"

Our day was pretty unremarkable with visits to the gym, hairdresser and the grocery store. But he was happy to have my undivided attention and drive around in the Jeep.

We went with Melanie and her boys to see Toy Story 3 in 3D. John-Paul and E both loved it and kept standing up to reach out to the screen.

On the whole, it has been one of the easiest days ever. Parenting just one kid is so easy it is a joke. But it's all perspective, isn't it? As we dropped off at camp, a friend of mine was dropping off 2 of her 5 kids. She was excited because she would "only" have three. Relative or not, I'll enjoy my easy week.

Camper Girls

2010-06-20T19:22:00.000-04:00

So after months of anticipation, the big day is here: sleep away camp! We've been packing all week and as of bedtime last night, were ready to go. The girls lay in bed squealing over and over "I can't wait!" whereas Eion surveyed the situation and declared, "I'm going to rule the house!" Everyone was excited. Save Tim that is, who, roundabout camp time, gets melancholy about his little girls growing up and leaving him. This year even I was the tiniest bit apprehensive about leaving Maggie (knew from last year Morrigan would be just fine) causing Tim to snort, "Well at least we know you have a heart in there." I do indeed Timmy. It may be cold as ice, but it exists.

Tim had to work so I drove the girls to West Virginia alone. Before our departure, they gave him their home made father's day cards. Maggie's was priceless:

Dear Dad, I was gone most of father's day but I still felt you were the most specialest dad in the world. And by the way, happy father's day! Love, Maggie

The front had a picture of her giving Tim a golf club. When he asked if she really bought him a club, she told him, "No. Just this card." I think he was misty-eyed.

The girls had been badgering me since they got up at 6:30 to leave. Finally, 11:30 rolled around and we made our way to Camp Alleghany. As we were passing through Daleville, we had to stop at Blue Collar Joe's for one of their Divine donuts.

Personally, I had the chocolate cake donut frosted with chocolate and sprinkled with crushed Reese's Pieces. Mmmmm.

From there it was about an hour and 45 minutes to camp. Along the way, Eion said how he was going to miss Maggie. Coming from the cold as ice genetic line, she let him know, "I'm not going to miss you a smidge." "Well I will miss you." Eion, in a surprisingly sweet moment replied. Mags added for emphasis, "Not a smidge." Hopefully, ruling the house will make up for the slight. Our arrival was a wee bit early but since I had to unload all the gear alone, that was fine by me.

As we waited for the ferry across, Maggie said her "tummy was all full of butterflies." Again with some uncharacteristic sweetness, Morrigan wrapped her arm around Mags and told her that she would take great care of her and there was no reason to be nervous.

Morrigan, on the other hand, was not nervous at all. She excitedly went up to all the counsellors she knew from last year and hugged them saying how she felt like she was coming home. Funny. I get that feeling when I check into a Vegas hotel.

Any lingering nervousness passed quickly as the girls were at the head of the first barge across and were the first off. We went and met their tent counsellors and got settled. Maggie was excited to get the first pick of cots declaring hers "the special one."

Morrigan acted like an old pro and was waving me off almost immediately. As Eion and I walked away, I did feel a little sad. I'm absolutely sure they will have an excellent time. But they certainly didn't need me. And I get this feeling they will leave me for three weeks next year. And then they'll go away to college. And then get married! But maybe I am getting just a little bit ahead of myself.

E is already maximizing his time as an only child. We stopped for McDonald's on the way back to the highway and as we started up the truck, Kickstart My Heart came on the radio. He held his coke up in the air and shouted, "Turn it up Mommy! It's just you and me. Let's party!"

Point of View

2010-06-17T20:42:00.002-04:00

So you always wonder about what your kids say when they are out in the world without you. The other day, I got to find out. When we were at the lake, another family was there and the Mom is the nurse at Morrigan's school. She told me all about Morrigan's one visit to the infirmary during which she must have spent the entire visit talking since she covered such a wide range of topics. Among which was how she lectured the nurse about how calories were nothing of which to be afraid and you should just eat when you are hungry.

She continued on about how she really wanted to build up her muscles but was at a genetic disadvantage since she had long appendages. Using those words. Short people like Mommy, she added, could add muscle much easier.

Now, these are all topics we have discussed and I think she's right on all points. I know where she got these ideas. But I had no clue that she had internalized them so well. What I know for sure is my girl thinks calorie counting is a joke (I agree) and wants to have bigger muscles (so do I.) And it made me happy.

You'll Find Him in the Club

2010-06-17T20:26:00.003-04:00

So I didn't really plan my camp situation very well. First week out of school and Maggie & E are in sports camp. Next week, the girls are at sleep away camp. When they get home, Morrigan is at horseback riding camp. Then I've got nothing. For the rest of the Summer. Might have to fix that.

That being said, the Summer is going swimmingly so far. Maggie & Eion are at the RCC lifetime sports camp all week. They play tennis, golf and go swimming. And they LOVE it. Especially Eion. The first day, it was thundering and pouring down rain so I knew they couldn't be swimming. I arrived all of 15 minutes early to pick them up and E lost it entirely. He just didn't want to leave. Since then we've had better weather and have stayed after camp for swim team. By the time it is all said and done, he is rocking about 9 hours at the Club a day. And he only leaves voluntarily under the promise of a coke (leftover from the party) at home.

We've decided to send him next week as well. I don't think there is a kid who wants to go more. With the girls away for the week and E at camp all day, I'm not sure what I am going to do with myself.

Morrigan has been enjoying her solo time with Tim & me. We've been packing for camp next week and making $300 Target runs to get all the necessary supplies. She & I also went to the cheap Asian nail salon for pedicures. She was a stitch letting out huge sighs and saying, "Now this is living!" Some of the best $40 ever spent.

If Summer keeps up like this, it will be the best one ever!

Swim Meet Monday

2010-06-14T21:26:00.002-04:00

You know what I am really beginning to love? Summer swim team. Being a low on the athletic side family (Tim excluded,) Winter swim team was tough. Not a whole lot of success and a fair bit of heartache. But Summer league is a whole other story. Both girls are meeting with success and feel like they are contributing to the team as a whole.

Tonight Maggie placed 4th silver in the 25 Free. She was DQed in the breaststroke but she almost made it. Morrigan was 1st bronze for the 50 Free and 3rd bronze for the 25 breaststroke. We're (clearly) not headed for the Olympics but the gals feel good about themselves and their part in a larger group.

And I love the atmosphere. Maybe I just have my swim team groove down as last year I had no earthly idea what I was doing. Or maybe it was that we were swimming against Hidden Valley CC and I may have known as many people there as I do at my own Club. But while each team may want to win, they are all cheering for each other - parents and kids. It could be that "it takes a village" feeling that comes from picking up Ann's kids when she got delayed at work only to be repaid immediately when she took an overtired Maggie home early for me. It's just fun. Almost makes me want to start swimming. Well, maybe not that much fun. I think I'll stick to pictures.

And in the ever shocking developments category, the boy was awesome, again. I was timing and Tim was at work so after we got there, the wee ones were all on their own. I didn't see E all night. He just happily played with other kids and endeavored to step on all the ants he could find. It was a good night.

Summer is Here!

2010-06-14T14:14:00.004-04:00

The list of things I should be doing besides blogging is infinite: clean my train wreck of a house, do mountains of laundry, get ready for the swim meet, bring all the things moved into the garage for the party back in so I don't have to park outside, get food for my completely empty fridge, you get the point. But I will leave all those things for later and instead catch up on the last week!

The kids' last day of school was Thursday. I taunted them saying they would have to go to summer school, but they would have none of it, insisting that "Straight A students don't have to go to summer school!" True to their word, they brought home all A's. And the E has been given the official go ahead for Kindergarten. We all know I was sending him either way, but it is nice to start out in a non-adversarial situation.

We celebrated with our first potato harvest:

In the end digging up about a dozen potatoes that became excellent homemade chips.

We were hosting our Cocktail Club on Saturday, so Friday was largely spent getting supplies and fixing all those little things you leave around the house until you're having guests. But we took a break that night and played tennis with 3 other couples. After we finished, we sat around chatting and drinking beers and discussing the group of seasoned citizens who used to gather there every Friday night. They had a standing court time for years and as their health started to fail, they continued to gather for cocktails every Friday at the tennis shop. We are suspicious that many of them can no longer drive since they stopped the weekly tradition recently. At that point, George remarked, "Since we're out here on Friday, with drinks, did we just become the old people?" I'm not ready to give up the tennis part just yet but the idea of starting a tradition like theirs sounds just fine to me.

Saturday was party prep all day long. Amy was kind enough to get Maggie around 1pm, just before all hell, weather wise, broke loose. As the wind blew and rain poured, we crossed our fingers that this would take care of the 60% chance of rain so our party could be out on our large and flower filled deck. The worst of it blew over but intermittent rain persisted so we set up for an inside party.

Around three, I went out for flowers only to find this blocking our road and the only access to and from the house.

And it was hanging from a power line. F dash dash dash.

Back home, where I immediately commenced to calling the power company and any local officials available on a Saturday. I found out, after a myriad of voice mails, that when you have a tree down, you call the police, who, as it turns out, were thoroughly unimpressed with my predicament.

Me: There is a tree that is blocking the only way in our out of our cul-de-sac. It is hanging from a power line.

Five 0: But you have power?

Me: Well, yes but I have 60 people coming over in a few hours. This is an emergency.

Five 0: Are there any sparks or fire?

Me: No, but no one can get here. This is important.

Five 0: Uh, Ma'am, we have several reports of electrified fences and fires. We have to tend to those first.

Me: Can you at least put me at the top of the list after the fires?

It didn't go well and I was left with the distinct impression that they did not at all have the level of concern they should about my social engagements.

Enter a phone call from my [completely awesome, party saving] neighbor, Tyler. I told him I thought there was no way it was getting cleared and we were screwed. To which he calmly replied, "I have a saw, let's check it out." Which we did, in the rain. And he risked life, limb and electrocution but cleared a pass-through large enough for a Suburban. With no injury, I might add. Tyler is our hero!

Continued showers did keep us largely inside, but the party was a go! At that point, I was so happy we didn't have to cancel that inside was just fine. The party was great (if I do say so myself) and we had an excellent time.

The next morning it was off to the lake for E's friend Lennon's birthday party. In another one of those, "how can my life possibly get any better?" moments, my kids were all largely self entertaining and happy, leaving me to mix and extra large mimosa and snap away.

Yes, that is the same dress as the night before. It was 90 fraking degrees. I saw no reason to bother with a clean one. It's all a part of the Summer bathing schedule.

Eion and Lennon got along well, other than when he was calling him Lemon. I think he actually knows this is wrong but he likes the name. Didn't cause too many rifts.

A family we recently met at the Club was there and Maggie became fast friends with Libby. I overheard them discussing how they could be "friends at the lake and at the pool." Too sweet.

At a certain point, it was clear the late night Saturday and six hours logged at the lake was about to break my children so we had to pack it in. Home to rest? Not just yet. It was swim team picture day! Finally, after a great day, we made it back home. And better yet, were joined by Ann & Hans to help work on what's left of the keg. Still haven't kicked it. Thirsty?

First Swim Meet of Summer

2010-06-09T09:44:00.002-04:00

We had our first swim meet of the Summer this week. Both girls are are on the older side for their age groups so I have high hopes that it will be a good year!

The meet was at home, which just makes it easier - at least for me. And there is always a pizza and ice cream party following the home meets that is highly anticipated by the girls. Morrigan, in spite of illness, decided to swim.

She swam the 25 back and free in which she placed 7th and 3rd bronze respectively. Considering she hadn't practiced in months and was sick, not a terrible showing.

Maggie swam the 25 butterfly and free and placed 1st bronze and 2nd silver respectively. Only 4 girls in the 6 and under group completed a legal butterfly so I was super proud that she was one of them. And her time for freestyle is a personal best. She was a riot sizing up her competition. She looked at the younger girls in the group and stated decisively, "I can beat all those girls but I don't think I can beat the Jones." [Referring to the daughter of what could be considered a swimming dynasty.] I told her there was no shame in placing 2nd to a Jones.

Eion isn't ready for swim team yet (but we are working on it.) I was working as a timer for the meet so he was largely left to his own devices.

Shocking everyone, he was really well behaved. I almost let him get ice cream until Maggie, who, as a non swimmer, was shut out of all the ice cream parties last year, reminded me only swimmers get ice cream. Sorry E.

The girls are getting a little competitive. Morrigan took it upon herself to tell Maggie, "You know the only reason you placed in butterfly was the other girls were DQed." To which Maggie, without missing a beat, called a scoreboard on her sister and sweetly asked, "I know I got 14 points for the team. How many did Morrigan get?" She knew damn well it was fewer. Battle on girls....

Field Day and Poetry

2010-06-08T14:06:00.002-04:00

In the never ending year end activities that require me to go to my children's schools, yesterday was Field Day at Morrigan's school. I was, based on my jump rope-a-thon at the Jump Rope for Heart event, placed again at the jump rope station. I was greeted by class after class with cries of "She's back!" and "I'm going to beat you this time!" I accepted all challengers and remained the undisputed Rope Queen.

I had missed Morrigan's class so I met up with them at the tug of war venue.

I mostly observed but did get in the fray once when the PE teacher joined the boys on the boys vs. girls tug. In spite of my efforts, the girls lost that one. But it made Morrigan happy and that was the whole reason I was there.

And making her happy was the reason I was there this morning as well. It was the last poetry reading and she and I were all set to present our (non-rhyming) poems. Naturally, Morrigan volunteered us to go first. I had to be fed one line but I don't think she cared. And I figure that way the pressure was off any other presenting parents since I had broken the ice and screwed up.

I did opt out of all the awards ceremonies. I don't think the kids need me there to document their receipt of perfect attendance awards. Morrigan arrived home after hers grousing that all she got was a "stupid A/B honor roll" award. I certainly don't think my being there would have improved that.

Adventures in Awesome Parenting

2010-06-05T19:28:00.002-04:00

So to truly understand how far off the rails today was, you'll first need to be aware of The Plan:

8am - Ship Tim off to work

9-10am - Swim practice

10:30-11:30ish - Gym

noon - Lunch

1pm - Fencing for Morrigan

2:30pm - Back to pool

6:30pm - Home to greet returning Tim

Number of items to plan: 1 1/2

We did see Tim off on time, lunch and coffee in hand. And we did make it to swim practice on time. From there, it was all buffoonery, all the time. Morrigan, who has had a persistent cough we had attributed to allergies, was complaining loudly that she couldn't swim because she couldn't breathe. Naturally, I saw this as an anti swim team ploy and told her to get in there. Fifteen minutes in, her coach, not known as a softie, rumored to have once made her own daughter swim with a broken wrist, took Morrigan out and told me, "She really seems like she can't breathe."

A quick call to the pediatrician and we were off to the Saturday sick patient waiting room. Where we waited for a full hour after our stated appointment time. And after being called back, waited 10 minutes more all the while fearing what nastiness lurked on those counters and chairs. After a quick listen to the lungs, the doc on call declared Morrigan to have walking pneumonia, a diagnosis greeted with jeers of "Daddy missed that!" from the children.

And on to Kroger for the antibiotics which I promptly delivered as written, I quote, "this medication can be taken with or without food." Eager to get on the road to recovery, we went without food but followed soon thereafter with lunch. After cleaning up lunch, I asked them if they wanted to go to the pool figuring Morrigan could sit in the shade with me and read. Hell, she seems to have had this for a month and was exposing the whole world so one more day couldn't hurt, right?

As we prepared to load up in the car, Morrigan, looking a bit squeamish, said "I don't feel so blaaahhhh." [That last part was puke.] Several round of vomit on the garage floor later, we got her inside and on the couch. I went, reluctantly, to clean up the mess only find the cat eating it, which was nasty but completely welcome as well. The less sick I have to mop up, the better.

The next few hours were littered with calls to the (now closed) pediatrician's office, Tim and Melanie for consult as to our next move. In the end, though a prescription for a (hopefully) less stomach upsetting antibiotic waited at the pharmacy, we tried eating and then taking another dose. This, taking me completely by surprise, seemed to work and soon, all the kids wanted to get out of the house. We did get to the pool in the end, though Morrigan mainly sat in the shade with me memorizing the non rhyming poems for Tuesday.

We weren't home to greet Tim either. Plan for tomorrow: shoot, I'm not even going to bother.

Memorial Day Kind of Bit and Beyond

2010-06-02T19:11:00.002-04:00

The kick off the season party at the pool is one of my very favorite days. Coupled with the newly heated water and Melanie, Jerry, et al as guests and I was pumped. That is until we met with this:

And when the sun came out, there was frequent thunder, leading to routine pool evacs. The kids actually made the best of it with the girls fawning over Summer and the boys chasing each other. (Note in the background is Tim on his iPad desperately seeking scientific evidence that the pool need not close in case of thunder. To no avail I might add.)

Completely lacking a Plan B, we went with our always fallback plan, beer on the deck. Which was, in the end, a pretty decent play.

Morrigan is off in Baltimore for a three day field trip so I have been enjoying the light kid load. I would miss her more but I know she is having a terrific time. I went in to wake her at 6am on Tuesday and she was already sitting up and started cheering that it was time to start the day. No need to feel bad for her.

Swim team practices (kind of) started. We have been plagued by afternoon thunder and storms. Today we finally got smart and went to the pool right after school so at least the kids could play for a while before the bad weather inevitably hit.

We got lucky and there was no thunder! Maggie swam with the team and Tim and I both complimented her on how polite she was giving the other swimmers space and not passing. "Oh no." she replied, "Parker told me that passing isn't allowed." Hmmmm, sweetie, I think that Parker may just not want to be passed. Can't wait til tomorrow to see her blow by all those boys she was being "polite" to today. If we don't have thunder that is.

Root, Rock, Reggae

2010-05-31T07:30:00.002-04:00

After a few hours rest at home, we headed back to the Club Saturday for the season opening Rum & Reggae party. In spite of its spirited name, it was billed as a family event so we decided to save the sitter money and load up the whole family. The pool deck was decorated in a tropical theme and they hired a steel drum band. The girls remarked immediately "It's like we're in Hawaii!"

The kids played in the pool the whole night and were beyond excited that they got to stay up until 10pm. The party was well populated with friends and the night went quickly. A sage friend had booked a church van to shuttle us all back to the neighborhood though the kids were a bit miffed we were leaving the car overnight and questioned the necessity of car pooling. So I got to explain how Mommies and Daddies shouldn't drive when they have been drinking rum. Which naturally was immediately followed with "But why?" I went with rum makes you dizzy and a bad driver. That seemed to settle the issue though they made me promise that when we picked up the car tomorrow I would be rum-free. Done kiddos!

Back to My Happy Place

2010-05-29T17:55:00.002-04:00

Was I annoyed yesterday? No more! The pool is open for the season. I actually did suggest we go to Festival in the Park, but it was out voted 4 to 1 in favor of the pool. And while I am sure we would have had a wonderful time downtown, the pool was just perfect. The weather was warm but not too hot and the (new) pool heater made the water just the right temperature. We are 2/3rds water safe, E is well on his way and (luckily) seems to have lost his desire to fling himself into waters too deep.

You know what I was able to do? Completely relax.

There is something to be said for a place to which you've been going for eight years. You know everyone, staff and members, and it's like going home. To borrow Jennie V's description, the Club is my happy place. And boy am I glad to be back.

Now after our few hours home for some downtime, it is back to the pool for the Rum and Reggae party!

Either/Or

2010-05-28T17:33:00.004-04:00

Now there is no good reason for me to be so tilted today. But there are a million little ones. It's just been one of those days where countless irritants piled on one another until the result is dark mood. Really, have had more than my fair share of those days this week. While I could get introspective and see what in me is making this happen, I will instead come to the logical conclusion that it is the rest of the world at fault.

School loves to take the last few remaining days we have before Summer and find ways to drag us into school. Today was the Author's Tea in Maggie's class.

They write and illustrate their own original (or in some cases not so original) tales and then read them to the class and parents. In spite of the inopportune timing of this event, I knew it would break Maggie's heart if I didn't go and there was nothing so pressing keeping me away other than the sense of freedom being ripped from my hands as the school year draws to a close. Her story was sweet and she dedicated it to me and Tim. I really felt for the parents whose child dedicated the story to a tv show.

Then after the readings, we had snacks. Maggie, it seems, had at least 5 cookies. Which made it even better when her teacher announced to all attendees that we could sign the kids out then and there and take them home. Maggie's over-sugared eyes lit up as she turned to me expectantly. Now it was already a 2 hour early dismissal which meant that I had to get Eion at 11:30 so I was less than pleased at the prospect of my morning ending an hour earlier than that. But Maggie promised that she wanted nothing more than to go to two different banks and the grocery store.

And of course she was lying so the complaints of "Are we almost done?" and "Why do we have to pick up Eion?" began almost instantaneously upon our departure from school.

Soon they were all home and the chorus of boredom was ringing loud and clear.

Eion was the only one to find entertainment for himself but only after I turned down his request for electronics reminding him that he had not only gone to the principal's office this week but had managed to wet himself every single day either on the bus or soon thereafter. And his entertainment was? Relocating the soaker hose we laid out for the new annuals we planted the other day squashing many and ripping others out in the process. He is enjoying the rest of the day in his room. Largely for his own safety.

Needing to get out of the house in a desperate fashion, I deemed it a good idea to take the girls to the Swim Shop to get their swim team suits. We have one, size 24, that I was sure would fit at least one girl. They both tried it on and said it was too small. Knowing we needed one suit anyway, we set out and I figured we could get a professional opinion. Sure enough, they both needed a 24 which was excellent news since the darn things are $80 and this meant we only had to purchase one. Excellent for the sister who gets the new suit, naturally, while the other sulks and complains the entire way home as Maggie chirps about how she just loves her new suit.

So the sum of today's events leaves me either in need of a yoga class or a 10K scored by Metallica. As neither looks to be happening, I'll just be glad I get to leave for poker in 47 minutes (but who is counting?)

Only For You Lee D

2010-05-27T21:15:00.002-04:00

Tonight was the spaghetti dinner/bingo night fundraiser at Morrigan's school. As PTA treasurer, I felt compelled to go. Now, there were 270 people who had prepaid and were expected to come. In my mind, this meant there was a fair chance The Public would be there. And anyone who is steady reader knows The Public and I just don't play well together. This coupled with the fact that the food was made by any number of volunteers made me more than apprehensive about attending. I'm not quite to the Howard Hughes/kleenex box shoes type off balance, but I really can't stomach food that comes from unknown sources. It just creeps me out. But for you Lee D, I went.

Much to my pleasant surprise, The Public didn't come! And I planned ahead, feeding both myself and my kids at home. The whole thing went very smoothly and was a great success for the PTA. Granted, the PTA didn't have to deal with my children, who were insufferable nearly the entire time. I told the kids, who don't like spaghetti, they could just have a brownie. After going through the line, they emerged empty handed. "I just lost my appetite." Morrigan let us know. Just a sec sweetie. I can get you your own kleenex boxes.

And then they complained of boredom, hunger, and loss at the bingo tables. Endlessly. At one point, I had Tim, who was about to leave work, on the phone offering to come and get them. At that very moment, they chose to be positive, refusing to leave. You know damn well that moment ended the very second I told Tim to go on home and leave the kids with me. But whining and moaning aside, we survived unscathed, though we didn't choose to take home a left over tray of baked spaghetti.

911 is a Joke

2010-05-27T15:04:00.002-04:00

E's class is learning their personal information: full name, address, phone number etc. When Ms. Bear asked Eion if he knew his phone number, he answered with complete confidence, "Yes. It's 911."

Son of a Bitch

2010-05-24T20:30:00.002-04:00

Today's title is in honor of the recently ended Lost, as it is an oft used phrase by one of my favorite characters, Sawyer. And fittingly, I found myself uttering it liberally today.

There I was, happily re-watching the Lost series finale, no spoilers here, but it took me two viewings to try to wrap my head around it, when I get a call from Crystal Spring. The principal immediately lets me know there is no cause for alarm. No one is hurt or sick. So, why the hell are you calling me? I think. "We have Eion here in the office with us."

Son of a bitch.

The next ten minutes were a cringe inducing speaker phone call with my son, the principal and his teacher detailing his defiance and attempted escape from the school grounds. Just for good measure, they threw in that he was the first preschooler this year to be sent to her office. And repeated several times how embarrassing this must be for your Mommy. Which, if they really thought about with whom they were dealing, they would have realized that he cares not a whit about my feelings and the only one this was hurting was me. But I dutifully scolded him and took away his dsi and let him know he would be missing the Chuck E Cheese birthday party that was on the agenda this afternoon. In an act of mercy, they did not make me come and fetch my errant child.

When he arrived home, I sent him packing to his room under strict orders to think long and hard about what he has done. After his 15 minute stay, we had to leave to get the girls. He came stomping down the stairs with wet pants.

Son of a bitch.

He got to rock those wet pants for an hour at pick up and subsequent errands. When we returned home, he went into all out meltdown mode over a helium balloon from Kroger that rose out of his reach when he (duh) cut off the string. Since he still had on the pee soaked gear and was going on in such a way that I was sure I might just kill him, it was back to his room where I found him an hour later when seeking him out for dinner, pantsless, defiant and glaring.

Son of a bitch.

And to cap it all off, Morrigan reminded me today that for the final poetry reading of the year, parents could memorize a poem with their kids! With a decidedly unenthusiastic tone, I inquired which poem we would be presenting. "Not poem, Mom. Poems!" She then presented me with two meandering, nonsensical poems. "These don't rhyme at all!" I protested. "I want to do pretty poems," she countered, "and pretty poems don't rhyme."

Son of a bitch.

Sex Ed Round Two: Children 2, Mom 0

2010-05-23T14:44:00.003-04:00

Eion: Mom, I love you.

Me: I love you too E.

Eion: Then when I grow up, I will marry you.

Me: No, E [for the millionth time] I can't marry you because you're my son.

Eion: Then I will marry Jackson. I want my love to be a boy.

Morrigan: No Eion! Rolling around naked with boys will get you pregnant!